Tag Archives: stable

Fuck I guess you were right

30 Apr

Judging by the last week I’m not stable enough to start hormone therapy, testosterone.  Seriously looking at my mood and how minor events effect it made me realize that they were right as much as I wish it wasn’t true.  Part of it’s frustrating as I don’t have the support to process all the shit going on right now so that’s why I’m having my mood so effected by things.  And that isn’t changing any time soon.  ­čśŽ  so it’s up to me to learn to cope if I want to “be stable” enough to start hormone therapy.   Time to dust off the DBT skills binder.

Really good day

30 Nov

Today started out kind of blah. I woke up on the later side because I took a Valium last night, when I wasn’t sleeping well. I also think I’m catching a cold. The semester is winding down quick with just three more weeks left. In french class there is a conversation Tuesday so I met with my group at Starbucks to prepare and practice.

I decided to get a pumpkin spice latte, usually I don’t have much caffeine. The decision was two fold, caffeine elevates my mood and curbs my appetite. It also makes me less sleepy so that was a bonus. Since this new medicine regimen makes me hungry and sleepy I think I may just supplement my Meds with a red bull or Starbucks each day.

After the Starbucks and getting the french conversation prepared I felt good. I went home and loaded my pill chart; this morning I had just taken my am pills out of the bottle and taken them. This is a habit I’ve gotten into where for three or four days the box of pills sits on the counter as I just take out one dose at a time. I also worked on cleaning my room.

I have a pretty busy week this week and I’m looking forward to that. I do much better with structure and less free time. I do have two phone calls, and I hate the phone. Intensive case manager and the DBT program leader are suppose to call Tuesday. At least I’ll get it out of the way in one day.

I still can’t believe they’re letting me join the year long DBT program. I’ve always been told you have to be stable. This year I had 3 hospitalizations, a month in partial, and a couple rounds of IOP. I guess they see something in me I don’t see. It’s been a hell of a year. I am looking forward to DBT though, with the weekly meetings it’ll keep my mind fresh and I’m more likely to use the skills.

30 Day Blog Challenge- Day 22

16 Apr


Master List

Day 22: What do you want your future to be like?

Stable.  Content.  Happy.