Tag Archives: medication compliance

Medicine

7 Aug

It’s interesting well scary kinda… I can skip three doses and I feel myself start floating away.  Like sanity is slowly slipping away.  I’m an adult and I can make my own choices and because of some dumb inconveniences I decided to stay at my parents which meant I didn’t have my meds.  As I was driving back to my house this morning I’m frantic to write down all this important stuff that I can no longer remember (probably cuz the meds are already kicking in) because some aliens are going to delete the information from my brain and call it alziheimers because that’s what they’ve been doing to everything.  I get stuck on some PTSD stuff from the past and I want to write on it, but I don’t want to focus and get stuck there.  My mind is everywhere.  I’m posting on Facebook, Facebook messaging people and have all this shit going on in my head when I nearly get in a car accident.  And the only thing I think, gladly going somewhere near back into reality is their going to read my post about needing my meds and this is going to be all my fault.  Not how fast I was going, or that I would have been really hurt or hurt someone else.

 

Does anyone else feel themselves slip away as they don’t take meds?  I mean I could go with it, but I don’t really like myself in that place it’s too messy.

When we forget our medications work

1 Nov

The last few days have been really difficult, especially today and yesterday.  I think Friday I was running on adrenaline and that’s why I was doing okay.  It’s well known that people who take psychotropic medications usually have a difficulty with compliance for one reason or another.  Other than a couple incidences in my life I’ve been pretty compliant with what I’m prescribed.  The problem for me comes with re-fills.  I take a lot of different medications and some refill at different times than others.  A couple of them also have special refill instructions like more days to process the order.  I also take my pills from a pill chart, so I only see the bottles once a week.

Tuesday night I ran out of my Viibryd, there was a problem with the online pharmacy, it is one of my special order medications, and it was a new dosage/quantity prescription.  When I’m taking all my medications I’m feeling okay and I don’t really think about the fact that I’m doing okay is because I’m taking my medication.  I tend to underestimate it’s effects.  It’s only after I haven’t had it in my system for a few days that I realize the importance of it.  I’m sure part of it is wishful thinking to, it’s be so nice not to rely on medication to keep stable moods.

But the evidence shows itself yet again.  Yesterday and today I’ve been having uncontrollable crying spells, been more suicidal with stronger self harm urges.  I want to drop my classes, drop my future plans, drop off the planet.  I’ve spent most of yesterday and today in bed also.  It’s the weekend, so I need to wait until tomorrow to see if my prescription is in.  I need it.

I’m still with it

19 Apr

On Fridays counseling session my case manager asked me what I could say that could prove the voices wrong.  I told her they couldn’t be proved wrong because they are an objective entity that sees all and knows all.  She said them being that mean wasn’t being objective.  I said there is no point in arguing with them, those one’s usually don’t respond much to me anyways.  I did mention that sometimes the back 1s would argue with them and actually win.  Which is true sometimes the back 1s stuck up for me, but they’ve been gone since I started the Latuda.  I joked I could always stop taking it, but I know better.  That’s probably one of the things keeping me out of the hospital, ha!