Tag Archives: emotional regulation

Fuck I guess you were right

30 Apr

Judging by the last week I’m not stable enough to start hormone therapy, testosterone.  Seriously looking at my mood and how minor events effect it made me realize that they were right as much as I wish it wasn’t true.  Part of it’s frustrating as I don’t have the support to process all the shit going on right now so that’s why I’m having my mood so effected by things.  And that isn’t changing any time soon.  ūüė¶  so it’s up to me to learn to cope if I want to “be stable” enough to start hormone therapy.   Time to dust off the DBT skills binder.

31 Days of Lists Challenge: Day 14

6 Sep

31 days of list challenge

Day 14: I want to learn how to…

  • Knit
  • Speak/Read/Write/Understand French
  • Speak/Read/Write/Understand Hebrew
  • Speak/Read/Write/Understand Latin
  • Speak/Read/Write/Understand Greek
  • Speak/Read/Write/Understand German
  • be comfortable in social situations
  • be okay¬†being alone
  • be more confident/improve my self-esteem
  • regulate my emotions better
  • not care what other’s think anymore.

DBT: Emotions

20 Jun

Emotions is an acronym about coping with and managing emotions effectively.  This falls under the category of emotional regulation.

Exposure to emotions. spending time with my emotions

  • My examples. ¬†Not trying to avoid specific emotions like fear, sadness, or anger- but don’t hold on to them either. ¬†Notice joy and keep up whatever is making me joyful.

Mindful of current emotions.  Build an awareness of what emotions I am feeling in the moment without having to act them out.

  • Being sad but not breaking down into tears. ¬†Being insecure but not having to ask for reassurance.

Outline a plan to deal with emotions.  Figure out how to effectively deal with all of my different emotions.

  • When I’m sad go to my wellness box. ¬†When I’m angry blog. ¬†When I’m anxious (most times) do it anyways.

Take opposite action.  Be mindful of my emotion while engaging in the actions that bring the opposite emotion into my experience.

  • Looking at scrapbooks or SMASH books.

Increase positive experiences.  Do things that are enjoyable and fun.

  • Plan pleasurable activities like going out with a friend, treating yourself to something nice, swim.

Obstacles and plan to overcome them.  Determine the obstacles to effectively deal with my emotions and how to overcome them.

  • Sadness get lethargic want to stay in bed, drink a red bull then stay occupied. ¬†Anger want to cut or tell people off, blog it out, vent to a friend, stay away from cutting places and rituals.

Notice what is going on.  Be aware of what is going on around me and inside me.

  • When anxious periodically check in with how I’m feeling inside and if it’s too much start making plans to leave. ¬†If I notice things in the environment that will worsen my mood stay away, like interpersonal conflict.

Support system.  Connect with my support system to help me cope.

  • Case manager, therapist, my sister, 20 something’s friend, blogger friend

Some SMASH* Pages

20 Jun

Here is one thing I like to do as a distraction and also pleasurable activity.


DBT: ABC Exercise

19 Jun

Not many people voted in the poll yesterday, of what you would like to see more of on this blog.  Feel free to go and vote here.  More information on Borderline Personality Disorder was the highest with three votes, so here is a resource from my DBT class last week.

Accumulate Positives:  This letter of the skill is about having a bank account of positive experiences that you have been saving up to make a withdrawal from when you need to balance out an upsetting situation.

Build Mastery: This component of the skill is about thinking about or doing something that you are good at.  By thinking about or doing something you are good at.  By thinking or doing something you are good at, you are facilitating healthy self-esteem.  This boosts your confidence to get through times that are difficult.

Cope Ahead:¬†¬†Develop plans to deal with expected and unexpected difficulties. ¬†Note: Cope Ahead doesn’t always work, so use the accumulate positives. ¬†It is about your willing to try something, but try not to get too attached to the outcome.

Some examples:

Accumulate positives: setting up social events that go well, compliments from friends, going to Disneyland, getting good grades on an assignment.

Build Mastery: creative endeavors, making scrapbooks, working on my smash journal, blogging, school related stuff.

Cope Ahead:  If I have an upcoming counseling session that I think will be tough I can ask a friend to hang out afterword.  Practicing or rehearsing tough conversations.  Scheduling a massage after/during a big/stressful project .
*note some things can overlap in categories

Resource: DBT Observing and Describing Emotions

1 Jun

First my filled out version and then a blank in PDF and jpeg for you to use.

Name: Marci                                                    Date: Saturday 5/23/25

Emotion Name: Rejection/insecurity- Panic     Intensity: 50

Prompting Event: Me and 20 something’s friend were at the music festival when G texted him to invite him to see a gay movie with a group of people. ¬†I didn’t get a text.

Interpretations: She doesn’t like me. ¬†She knows I don’t like her.

Body Changes and Sensing: Stomach hurt

Body Language: Eyes kinda go down

Action Urges: I want to see if she doesn’t like me. ¬†Think about asking 20 something’s friend.

What I said or did: Pretended it didn’t bother me. ¬†Joked around with 20 something’s friend about it. ¬†Reminded him he couldn’t go because of work.

After effects: Still some anxiety of her knowing I don’t like her. ¬†A little hurt just keep telling myself I don’t like her anyway.

Re-evaluation: She thought I was camping and probably didn’t invite me because of that. ¬†You don’t like her anyways. ¬†Remember you can’t be invited to everything. ¬†Probably just a couple people.

New Intensity: 15


observing and describing emotions

Observing and Describing Emotion (Anger, Jealousy)

16 Sep
Name: Marci    Date: 9/16/14
Emotion names: Anger     Jealousy    Intensity (0-100): 25
Prompting event for my emotion: (who, what, when, where)  What started the emotion?  The just the facts section.
  • Logged on to FB and was watching a video with some friends from group. ¬† One event and multiple people from group were in it including the trigger person.
  • Back on FB later and a different person from group is praising trigger person again.
Interpretations: (beliefs, assumptions, appraisals of the situation.)
  • Why wasn’t I invited to the party?
  • They don’t really like me.
  • Wait, I think that was when I was gone camping.
  • Trigger person is a fake.
  • Why can’t other people see through that.
  • They like her better than me.
Body changes and sensing: What am I feeling in my body?
  • Irritated
Body Language: What is my facial expression? posture? gestures?
  • Tired, go lay down
Action Urges:  What do I feel like doing?  What do I want to say?
  • Wanted to go lay back down.
  • Tell people it’s all just fake because she wants you to like her.
What I Said or Did in the situation: (be specific)
  • Got off FB.
  • Wrote the blog about superficial people.
  • Went to lay down.
  • Ended up getting up to fill in this worksheet, now posting it.
What after effects does the emotion have on me? (my state of mind, other emotions, behavior, thoughts, memory, body, etc.)
  • Not much.
  • Just frustrated seeing this trigger person do this behavior again and again. (memory)
  • Makes me consider my genuineness and think I’d have more friends (even if they weren’t real) if I was fake too.(thoughts)
  • Get a comment from fellow blogger that makes me feel better about how I act and stay real. (other emotions)

My thoughts are swirling

4 Sep

My thoughts are swirling right now. ¬†My health insurance called and my paperwork for disability at college will be ready for picked up tomorrow after 2:30pm, I will be intrigued by what my psychiatrist writes he never ceases to amaze us. ¬†I was talking to a friend on Facebook just a little bit ago. ¬†I mentioned my abandonment issues and he told me to watch out with one of my friends which has me all paranoid and anxious. ¬†Like my abandonment issues aren’t bad enough where when someone gives me a warning with one of the few people I like and trust, that’s on my list of the things that are still enjoyable. ¬†He didn’t mean to be mean, he was just hurt and I think that’s a manifestation of that, but while that makes sense rationally…. my feeling rarely line up with that. ¬†The therapist mentioned me needing to work on my DBT Skills, so I’ll go fill out an emotion worksheet right now.

Double Awareness

15 May

bpd awareness

May you are wearing me out and I am already worn thin!!! ¬†So let’s see here it is Mental Health Awareness Month all May (Post), NAMI Walk Northern California May 3rd, Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week May 4-10 (Post), I’m Blogging for Mental Health May 14th (Post), Borderline Personality Awareness Month all May, and I’ve been in a Partial Hospitalization Program since May 2nd.

For this post I am going to share a handout sheet I did on Emotional Regulation while in the Partial program I am in.  Emotional Regulation is one of the key concepts of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that was initially founded to help treat those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) though it is now commonly used to treat many mental health issues and some of the concept such as mindfulness are common in mental health and spiritual health practices.

First a blank worksheet if you would like to fill out:

er hmwk 1 blank

Mine filled out:

er hmwk 1 5.9.14

Most of the worksheet is self explanatory.  The emotion generally derives from anger, sadness, fear, or shame.  My emotion hopelessness was a form of sadness.  The prompting event is just the facts, exactly what happened to trigger the emotion.  The interpretation, body changes and language, and action urges fall under the category of experiencing the emotion.  At one point I want to type up a few handouts we received that have examples of all these for each main emotion.  The what I said or did is expressing and acting on the emotion.  The secondary emotion (which there can be multiple, a single one, or none) is how the first emotion made you feel example: I felt angry that I kept going to treatment only to get hopeless again and again.

The goal of filling out the worksheet is to slow you down and help you realize where everything fits. ¬†In my case most of my emotion, hopelessness, was based on my interpretation of what was going on. ¬†It helps to identify all the urges and then to see the difference in what you do do, it generally makes me feel a little better to know I didn’t do my action urges or at least not all of them. ¬†Also it helps to see the after effects, which can be immediate or awhile later. ¬†Another way filling out this worksheet is helpful is because it helps separate the primary emotion (the one you do the worksheet on) from any secondary emotions; which if you want you can do another worksheet on that emotion.



29 Apr

Tonight I was thinking about coping and what that means. ¬†I had another rough day riddled with disappointment, doubt, insecurity, and self-loathing. ¬†I coped pretty well, but really what does that mean? ¬†So when I think of coping it means something is distressing or uncomfortable. ¬†You cope with problems, you don’t need to cope when things are okay. ¬†People cope in a variety of ways, and some coping strategies work for specific situations. ¬†Today I coped in a variety of ways some that certain people would approve of or consider good and some probably could have been done better. ¬†How I like to think about it is like a spectrum, with really good at one end and really bad at the other and everything in between. ¬†Some coping methods I used today: emotional expression, comfort eating, recognizing your emotion (DBT Skill, emotional regulation), distraction, sleeping, withdrawing, using caffeine to elevate mood. ¬†What is interesting is how a coping method gets labeled as “good” or “bad” or more commonly called “ineffective.” ¬†Mostly society decides what is a bad or ineffective coping method, my book suggested some as: self harm behavior, manipulating others, under-eating, overeating, and substance abuse… I’m sure you could think of more. ¬†My thoughts in regard to the spectrum is that while it probably wasn’t the best that I overate and mostly ate junk, sugar, and caffeine but it is better than self harming or totally withdrawing from people. ¬†Anyways, I’m not upset with any of my coping methods- yeah it’s be nice if I only used ones that were effective and acceptable to everyone but that’s not on my radar right now. ¬†And the one’s that I am trying not to engage in are self harm and withdrawing and since I didn’t self harm or intensely withdraw today was successful.