Tag Archives: cholesterol

Update June 1st

1 Jun

Summer has started and hopefully by noon my professor has posted my last grade, I’m not sure on yet.  I’ve been feeling very clingy lately and I know it’s just because 20 something’s friend won’t be as available in the summer and fall semesters.  I’m trying to go with the DBT skill of opposite action, so for this situation it’s pretty much trying not to contact him every day and letting him make the arrangements if we hang out.  It helps because I won’t hurt if he says no, and he will message me or a regular basis, so it’s not like I have to worry about letting the friendship go.  Once summer school starts I plan to check in from time to time but to put the least amount of pressure as possible, so he can be successful.

I’m still having a lot of anxiety with 20 somethings group (the LGBT group I go to weekly), I feel like I’m a facilitator and should be mature but some of the people I just don’t like.  I’m trying to tell myself that I only have to be professional in group and am not obligated to invite them to anything outside group but it’s hard.  I know what it feels like to be left out or not invited and I don’t want people to feel like that, even if I don’t really like them.  I’m also afraid it will lead to the even more clique-ness and choosing sides that are already going on.

A lot of psych meds, specifically anti-psychotics can mess with your metabolic functions (blood sugar, cholesterol, AST, and ALT).  I had blood taken last Friday and am happy to report my cholesterol (which I’ve always had a problem with and family history) is the lowest it’s been in 6 years!  My blood sugar is exactly the same as last time, which is borderline high but I have a sweet tooth and was impressed it didn’t go up.  The only thing sort of off is the ALT, liver function which has me having anxiety about liver disease or something.  Gotta worry about something right?  😉

Here’s a chart of the cholesterol:


Accomplishments 5.30

30 May
  • Lead a group at 20 something’s where I came out about my mental illnesses.
  • My cholesterol is lower, even though I’ve gained weight.
  • I finally feel like we’re addressing some long over due subjects in counseling.
  • I’m working on not attending social events, that are just not me.
  • I’ve gotten 2 out of my 3 grades for the Spring semester and I am proud of them.
  • Went through the entire semester without being hospitalized.
  • I think I am becoming a better communicator.
  • I’ve been doing DBT for almost 4 months now.
  • My case manager, the therapist, and my psychiatrist all think I’m doing much better.
  • I haven’t had a med change in 7 months and will not see my psychiatrist for 6 months.
  • I’ve expanded to 2 restaurants that I will go to eat by myself at.
  • Working on reaching out for help when I need it, and recognizing when I need it.
  • I’ve been going on more walks with my sister.
  • I’m trying to not let my fear destroy relationships.

A day in the life: Thursday 4/3/14

4 Apr

I was going to do a blog on this post but there is nothing really to show on video, so I thought I’d just do a regular post.
2am finally get to sleep. Was a good night (Wed) just couldn’t sleep.

5:30am wake up to go to the bathroom. Lately I wake up any where from 2-4 hours after I first fall asleep, no matter when it is. Go back to bed.

7:30am get up and take morning Meds: Latuda 60mg, Lamictal 200mg, Prazosin 1mg, Prevastatin 10mg, Birth control and vitamins (Fish oil 2000mg and Vit D 200iu). Go lay back in bed.

8:30am switch over to parents bedroom and lay in bed with mom. Can’t relax because stressing about getting blood drawn, which I need to do by the end of week along with EKG.

11:30am get out of parents bed and ask dad to take me to lab to get blood drawn, afraid I’ll pass out though I haven’t in awhile. Go to get Jamba Juice, haven’t eaten yet today it was a fasting blood test. Dad calls nail shop suppose to get a pedicure at 1pm. Go back to the house.

12:30pm mess around till 1pm, check Facebook and e-mail. Get e-mail that 20 something’s group will be discussing depression tonight, last paragraph with warning like words “be prepared to discus” ” emotionally charges” “rejection” and “neglect” get overwhelmed and freak out. My social event for the day, may be to triggering. Text a facilitator to ask who is guest facilitating and am so fragile/anxious/overwhelmed I mention my mental health issues, even the psychosis and recent hospitalization. Send FB message to other 20 something friend seeing if he wants to do something tonight instead or is going to group. Try to carefully word it not to sound too needy or push him away. Text sister with pic of e-mail asking what to do, ask parents as well. Nail salon calls, one of the women isn’t there yet they will call when she comes in.

1pm anxiously awaiting return texts and fb message. Pretty sure I’m not going but trying to put something in place to substitute. Maybe sister or 20 something’s friend. Text with facilitator, she seems understanding. Like I said I probably revealed too much info which is common when I am anxious. Take 5pm Meds early because sometimes they help calm me down: Desipramine 200mg

2pm nail salon calls back, we are ready. Hear back from 20 something’s friend we will meet at 6 to get Dairy Queen, relieved but wonder how long we’ll hang out. Don’t want to seem desperate and say in FB message to “kick me out when you need to do homework and how I’m not always good at getting social cues.” Get pedicure.

3pm go to lunch with dad. Haven’t been very hungry lately and just eat a one item lunch special. Get baskin robins afterwards.

4pm take a bath and read Robin Hood book. Keeping eye on watch to leave at 5:30 to get to friends house, being late gives me anxiety (though nothing like what I was experiencing earlier)

6pm hang out with friend and we order pizza too. I feel awkward but don’t know what to do. There is a fire close by and we watch live coverage on The comp, look at FB articles, pictures, and videos, then look through summer classes for our local college. Check phone and get lab results and they aren’t good. Cholesterol jumped 60pts and is at 262, blood sugar at 116 which is highest in 6 years. Stress about them taking me off my new med that is working. Try to look at past results but phone is too small and complicated for that. Will look when I get home.

9:30pm I start to head home. Call sister who hadn’t called me like she was suppose to. Obsess and stress about seeming desperate to friend.

10pm sister calls back, talk to her for a bit. Check FB, see an old friend from hs shared the same video 20 something’s friend shared and we just watched at his place, laugh to self. Check cholesterol and blood sugar levels from the past, stress some more. Realize the good cholesterol is at a good level as well as triglycerides, try to talk myself into it not being that bad. Sort of talk myself down a little. Take night pills: Lamictal 200mg and Prazosin 1mg.

11pm go to bed still thinking about being clingy or desperate to 20 something’s friend. Resolve not to bother him till I see him Sunday for gay movie night. Remember he’s going to a game night tomorrow, make note to socialize with more than just him.

Midnight fall asleep.