Tag Archives: blogging event

30 Day Challenge: Self Harm Awareness Master List

5 Jul

30 Day Self Harm Awareness Challenge

1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
3. What is your motivation to recover?
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
6. What about it do you enjoy?
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.
8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?
9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.
10. How do you feel about your scars?
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had?
14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?
15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they?
16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm?
17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves?
18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.
19. List 5 reasons that recovery is worth it.
20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm.
21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?
22. Where do you feel the most calm?
23. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?
25. Do you know any statistics about self harm?
26. What is something that makes you the most happy?
27. Discuss any and all progress you have made.
28. What short-term goals do you have?
29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs?
30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.

Originally found on http://teenlineonline.org/boards/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=9953

Writing 101: Day 17- DON’T PANIC

3 Jul

writing-101-june-2014-class-badge-2

We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears.

Death?  Spiders?  Heights?  Public Speaking?   NOPE I’m afraid of people, more specifically people leaving, abandoning, or rejecting me.

Diagnostic Criteria 1 for Borderline Personality Disorder: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Some of the criteria from Avoidant Personality Disorder: *Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.  *Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.  *Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.  *Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.

Of late I have been waking up in a panic wondering what I will do when my social situation with friends from the 20 something’s group dissolves.  It’s not simple fear, worry, or anxiety more like full blown panic and terror; sometimes to the point where I have to knock myself out so I don’t get worked up so much.  My reasons for worry:

  1. The group is for 20 something’s (20-29); I am already 31 and afraid of being asked to leave or feeling not right about attending since I’m older.
  2. It is really hard for me to make friends and family friend went with me to the group for like 2 months before I was even comfortable going alone.
  3. The 20 something’s group is really my only connection to the LGBT community, and I’m afraid without the link I may just go back into the closet.
  4. The age group of “20 something’s” is a group that moves around and changes a lot.  In the almost 3 years I have been going people have moved and stopped and started attending.  I also know others are thinking about or are planning on moving around.
  5. The majority of my socializing and support comes from members in this group.

There really isn’t an adequate way to express my panic online.

Today’s twist: Write this post in a distinct style from your own.

30 MIAC: Day 17 Round Up Results

2 Mar

So here are the round up people who participated in responding to my seventeenth prompt on the 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge. If you participated and I haven’t added your post here, please pingback to the main challenge page with prompts or tag your post 30MIAC.

Day 17: If you could get rid of your mental illness(es) would you?  Why or why not?

From All That I Am, All That I Ever Was, Addy who explains that he would get rid of the social anxiety and PTSD, but the bipolar “Regardless of the pain, devastation, confusion and chaos that bipolar has inflicted on my life, it is still a part of who I am, and I part of it. We are one, my bipolar and I. Removing it would be like removing my eyes, my hands, my fingers or toes. It would be like erasing memories from my mind, eradicating my passions or expunging my innate playful kinkiness. I would still be breathing, still be walking and roaming the earth a living human being, but I wouldn’t be me.” It is common to wish some illnesses or symptoms away but others seeing as a part of who you are.

From Remember to Breathe, Lauren says “I think it’s one of those bittersweet situations. I love some of the characteristics of my OCD, but I hate others. But I think it’s possible to be rid of the anxiety and fear, but keep the good aspects. And that’s what I’m working on.”

And my answers which I say “I guess I would say that I would like to get rid of certain symptoms for sure, not sure how I would feel about never having the illnesses in the first place or just being magically “cured” now.” It’s again a representation of the mixed feeling of it being so much a part of who I am and made me who I am today but also the negative impact.

From Second Chances, Christine writes “I would ABSOLUTELY get rid of feeling depressed and anxious and make it so I would be able to stop taking anti-depressants in a heartbeat.”

From Fashion Anxious who says “In short my answer is Yes. In a heartbeat, without a second thought.”

From Beyond Normal who eloquently states: “To give a concrete answer, if I could get rid of my illness, I would. But then again, I cannot. I just have to make the best out of it.”

Also mylovelyborderlinepersonalitydisorder says “Of course I would. My condition, as I prefer to call it, has affected every single aspect of my life and it has always disrupted it.” she goes on to say that the empathetic and hyper sensitivity many experience with Borderline Personality Disorder as being too much for her and often being a trigger.

From That’s Crazy who appropriately titles this post “Oh is it ever complicated” and states “Without battling Depression and Anxiety I would be missing my personal sense of strength, my extreme introspective abilities, and my pure compassion for others. As I have come to realize that these are some of my greatest strengths, I have to succumb to answer I would rather not admit: no, I would not get rid of my mental illnesses.”

**Thanks to all who participated and continue to spread the word**

Also A Life of Madness who answered prompts 10-21 in a comprehensive post, she includes photos and has bipolar disorder.

Also from Surviving by Living who has conversion disorder and depression and answered prompts 15-18 in one comprehensive post.

30 Days MIAC Day 16: Round Up/Results

22 Feb

MIA challenge

So here are the round up people who participated in responding to my sixteenth prompt on the 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge. If you participated and I haven’t added your post here, please pingback to the main challenge page with prompts or tag your post 30MIAC.

Day 16: How many people are you “out” to with your mental illness(es)? Why?

From Pieces of Me, Gypsy who says she is out to just about everyone who knows her. “I dont think that mental health issues are something that anyone should be ashamed of, and the more suffers are open and talk about it, the better”  She does mention that people are uncomfortable talking about it.

From All That I Am, All That I Ever Was, Addy who proudly states “The answer is: everyone! and says he shouldn’t have to hide who he is.

From Remember to Breathe, Lauren talks about coming out to just about everyone only 4 months after her diagnosis and the surprise at the support she has received and proving the not “typical” mentally ill stereotypes.

And my answers which talk about a lack of other people knowing because of shame and trust issues.  “The reason not many people know is because I don’t know a lot of people and that I feel ashamed or like I will be judged if people know my mental illnesses.  Most the people who know only know because I couldn’t hide it from them.  Only the first 3 know everything because I trust them and have told them.  Yeah, I also don’t trust people either so that’s another reason why.”

From Second Chances, Catherine writes about the fear of coming out after a group member “She mentioned wanting me to write about ‘Coming out as a professional in the working world’ and attaching my name to it, if I felt comfortable and I froze.”  She is now out to everyone and doesn’t feel shame.

From Fashion Anxious who talks about not many knowing about her battle with anxiety and bot wanting to be labeled.

From Beyond Normal who responds simply “Basically everyone who cares enough to ask. Or not ask. Doesn’t matter. I don’t like keeping secrets.”

Also mylovelyborderlinepersonalitydisorder represents the common experience of some people being supportive and others running away.

From That’s Crazy who offers a great guideline for coming out: “It took a long time dealing with my illness, and developing a good sense of self before before making this decision. But now it is out and I hope others will join me when it is appropriate for them.”

From Sassy Cat who says she is out to immediate family including her mother, children, and husband.  The reason she is not out to the public is due to fear.

From Confessions of a Crafty Sinner who says she is out to the majority of family and co-workers adding “At first I was ashamed of my diagnosis, now I feel that by sharing my diagnosis and talking to others about my experience I could possibly help someone who is going through the same thing.”

**Thanks to all who participated and continue to spread the word**

Also A Life of Madness who answered prompts 10-21 in a comprehensive post, she includes photos and has bipolar disorder.

Also from Surviving by Living who has conversion disorder and depression and answered prompts 15-18 in one comprehensive post.

30MIAC Day 15: Round Up/Results

28 Jan

For the Zero to Hero Challenge day 23 is about publishing a round up. I will be publishing a round up of people who have participated in my 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge.  Feel free to join the challenge at any time or check out the bloggers below who have participated in prompts.

MIA challenge

So here are the round up people who participated in responding to my fifteenth prompt on the 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge. If you participated and I haven’t added your post here, please pingback to the main challenge page with prompts or tag your post 30MIAC.

Day 15: How has your life been effected by your illness(es)? (Some ideas are: relationships, career, school)

From Pieces of Me, Gypsy says: “I could sit here and imagine that if my life werent affected by mental illness, that I may have went to college, or maybe Id have some big career, shit maybe Id be singing in a band like Ive always dreamed of.  I dont see the point in that, other than to make me hate myself.”  Which is a very good point, sometimes when the effects have been nagative it doesn’t help to think what could have been.

From All That I Am, All That I Ever Was, Addy breaks the prompt down into three diagnoses: Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, and Social Anxiety.  He mentions Bipolar being the “big illness” but probably having the least impact on his life.  He talks about PTSD and the traumatic experiences feed into his anxiety making it even worse.  He then talks about the Social Anxiety which has been catastrophic in his life impacting everything from commenting on blogs to forming social relationships.

From Remember to Breathe which talks about how her OCD has effected every area of her life and now realizing that and building it back up.

And my answers which break into life events that are effected: relationships with peers/social life, relationships with family, relationships with co-workers, career/job, school and day to day life.  I try to include some positives and negatives, example “When I am depressed I don’t want to be around anyone and frankly most people probably wouldn’t want to be around me.  I have social anxiety plus fears of rejection/abandonment that make it real hard to make new friendships and socialize.  I’m also super shy and tend to be embarrassed easily which isn’t good for social situations.  However, the friends that I do have are the greatest people in the world.  They understand that sometimes I can’t be at events and they don’t let me fall off the face of the planet (though I’d like to some times.)  They are sympathetic and some are not uncomfortable talking about how life really is for me.”

From Second Chances who talks about how her life has been influenced now that she is aware of her anxiety and depression, for example knowing not to trust that racing heart and to try and calm herself.  Also about developing stubborness and resilience to fight the mental illness.

From Fashion Anxious who talks about how her anxiety started really effecting her when she started looking for work and working, and gives examples such as telling trainers  ‘an upset stomach’, in order to go home early because of anxiety.

From Beyond Normal “A great teacher once said that bipolar is like diabetes. It affects everything. So if you are an expert on diabetes, then you would understand the human anatomy. When you understand bipolar, then you would understand basically everything about the human mind. The point I’m trying to get across is this: Having bipolar or maybe even any other mental illness, affects every single thing in your life. It affects your physical appearance, perception, relationships, education, memory, and other people too. ”  She goes on to explain each category like impulsively cutting her hair influencing her appearance and nearly not graduating high school which would fall under education.

Also mylovelyborderlinepersonalitydisorder which talks about negative impacts on jobs, relationships, and friends.  About jumping from one thing to another.  Regrets about not being married or having many social friendships.

From That’s Crazy who talks about living with Depression and Anxiety for most of her life so they often have a front seat, although with time their influence has been smaller.

From Battling The Demons Within which talks about how right now her illness is her life, not being dependable enough to work or go to school because of inpatient stays but states at the end that “Eventually, once I get more stable, I will consider looking for a relationship, but now just isn’t the time for that, in my opinion.”

From Confessions of a Crafty Sinner who talks about her relationships being effected and her mindset whether through accepting things she normally wouldn’t or doubting and thinking the worse.

**Thanks to all who participated and continue to spread the word**

Also from Surviving by Living who has conversion disorder and depression and answered prompts 15-18 in one comprehensive post.

Also A Life of Madness who answered prompts 10-21 in a comprehensive post, she includes photos and has bipolar disorder.

30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge: Day 29 Goals

28 Jan

Day 22 of the Zero to Hero Challenge… is to participate in another blogging event.  I started hosting this blog challenge/event in October of 2013 but because of symptoms still haven’t finished it.  Here is the information on it:

I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses.  My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts.  I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC.  If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt.  I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word.  You can also start at anytime.  I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness. The master list of prompts is here.   Here is the image to go with the challenge:

MIA challenge

Day 29: What are a few of your goals regarding your mental health.

  • Become more independent (long term), moving out to family friend’s house (shorter term).
  • To stop self harming (currently at 14 months) and develop and constantly employ healthier coping skills.
  • Less relapses and less acute episodes.  Especially regarding depression and psychosis.
  • A better stable base state, that lasts longer.
  • Supportive relationships, mostly in friendships.
  • Working on intimacy issues, online dating (short term).
  • Be physically healthier, more balanced diet and some exercise.  Yes, physical health does impact mental health.

Let’s be a little positive

24 Jan

Things are still rough but here are some positives out of this last chaotic week:

  • I got a lot of chance to work on my SMASH journal and as soon as I upload the pics, I will post them here.  Doing crafts/journaling/scrapbooking is generally fun and I feel productive after it.
  • I went to my DSPS appointment to get my disability accommodations for school, the reason it is a positive is I was having an unmotivated depressed kind of day and was thinking of blowing it off as really the only accommodation I need is ability to make up exams in case of hospitalization.  And that doesn’t happen every semester.
  • I mentioned spending a bunch of money, but some of it was well spent, I got a new Lego modular set which will occupy me for a few weeks once I start it.  And I am trying to justify it as a reward for 14 months of no self harming.
  • I’ve decided what to do for my first vlog.  It will be about crazy vs normal, and symptoms coming out next Tuesday or Thursday.
  • I will be catching up with the Zero to Hero challenge which includes posting a round up and participating in a blog challenge. And since I already have my 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge (which unfortunately isn’t listed on the blog events page anymore), I will do that.

30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge: Day 28

14 Jan

I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses.  My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts.  I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC.  If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt.  I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word.  You can also start at anytime.  I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness. The master list of prompts is here.   Here is the image to go with the challenge:

MIA challenge

Day 28: Explain a “bad” day.

Today was a bad day so I will just document the day.

5am Wake up and stumble into the bathroom to take a bath with my iPad (I usually read in the bath tub.)

5:30am Can’t really concentrate, decide to get out of the bath without washing my hair and go lay down.  Put back on dirty clothes.

Somewhere around 8am Get up again, take am Pills, go back into the bath with iPad.  Look at Facebook real quick and Zite my news app and decide I just want to go to bed.   Self harm urges are bad, turning more into suicidal ideation.  I use a nail file on my stomach to try to stop the feelings, it just creates a red line that fades in 30 mins. Again never washed my hair and putt back on dirty clothes.

Around 10am get out of bath, write quick post to update you guys, take extra 100mg Seroquel to go to sleep and get past these feelings.

between 10am-5pm spend almost all the time in bed, whether sleeping or just laying there. Took mid day meds.  Considering whether going to talk case manager about this, whether i need to be or will be hospitalized, feel like I have an obligation Thursday night because I am suppose to bring something for group.  Maybe I’ll admit myself on Friday.  Throughout this time, I randomly get up and eat some ice cream.  My dad asks me about something and says i’m not doing well today or yesterday (I was surprised he acknowledged this)

5pm get up out of bed, go into kitchen to get some water, dad wants to know if I want to eat.  I go get in bath again and this time wash my hair and change clothes.  I figure I need to eat something some what healthy as all I’ve had is ice cream and medication all day.  Me and dad go to dinner.  Shortly after arriving at the restaurant, voices get bad as well as suicidal ideation (self harm doesn’t seem like enough anymore.)  I read the Splenda and Equal sugar packets while spelling out the writing (all in my head) to try and distract myself.  Have a couple visual flash hallucinations, graphic won’t describe.  Think about how I protect myself from myself.  Think about quiet room/seclusion room in hospital.

7pm get home from restaurant.  Immediately put in earphones to help fight voices.  Take night pills, thinking I’ll add more Seroquel later if needed.  Half ass check my e-mail.  Decide to write this post, while I have a little bit of motivation/clarity to do so.  Think about how people say self harming comes in urges and that if you wait like 3-10 minutes it will go away.  It’s been about a day and a half, self-harm doesn’t seem like enough now.  I need to die and deserve to die.

7:30pm meds are kicking in, will go to bed with earphones in just in case i need to, extra protection doesn’t hurt right.  Just because the thoughts are there (suicidal or self harm) doesn’t mean I will necessarily act on it, I don’t want you all to worry but just see what life is like.

30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge: Day 27

9 Jan

I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses.  My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts.  I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC.  If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt.  I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word.  You can also start at anytime.  I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness. The master list of prompts is here.   Here is the image to go with the challenge:

MIA challenge

Day 27: Explain a “good” day

Yesterday was a good day so I will do that:

I woke up at around 7am, which wasn’t ridiculously early like sometimes, and had a good night’s sleep.

I got on the computer to check my e-mail, which I pretty much do every morning and looked at my to do list.

I starred a couple things I wanted to get accomplished today.

I went to take a bath and lay in there and read, check facebook, and check Zite which is a personalized news app.

I went back to my e-mail and responded to comments and looked at bloggers who had liked my posts or subscribed and saw if I wanted to follow their blogs.

I made the Schizoaffective Disorder Infographic, which took quite a bit of time.  Then linked it to my site for the zero to hero challenge.

I now had a bit of a headache from looking at the computer for so long, so I decided to go out and go shopping for some errands.  The neighbor kid’s birthday is Friday so I went to get him a couple gifts.  I needed a comforter and back pillows for my new room at family friend’s house and an HDMI converter and cable cord to hook up my new smart DVD player so I can watch the rest of Orange is the New Black.

I had a Jamba Juice and tostada from Taco Bell, I’m trying to eat more regularly and healthy and Jamba Juice has like 5 servings of fruit.

I came home and looked at my Smash stuff I bought and worked on my Smash Journal a while.

I was really was happy and motivated by some of the comments on my recent blog posts and follows.

I wrote my Blog for Mental Health 2014.

While on Facebook I saw high school friends said she needed a drink.  We texted each other and ended up going to my favorite restaurant for a drink and some cheese and chocolate fondue.  And chatted and socialized.

I cam home and read some of Wintersmith by Terry Ptachett that I’ve been reading.

I went to bed around 11pm, had a while falling asleep, but that’s usual.

**Some of the things “Good days” include getting out of the house, working on hobbies, sometimes social events but not overwhelming, good sleep, and positive feedback**

30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge: Day 26

1 Jan

I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses.  My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts.  I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC.  If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt.  I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word.  You can also start at anytime.  I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness. The master list of prompts is here.   Here is the image to go with the challenge:

MIA challenge

 

Day 26: How is your day-to-day life effected by your mental illness(es)?

I will chronicle yesterday… really every day is different and I never really know what to expect.

3:45am Woke up

4:30am Ate 1/2 a bagel, because I felt nauseous as well as taking my morning medicine.  I try to eat when taking it because it gives me medicine breath, not because it upsets my stomach.

4:45am Got into bath tub with iPad to read.

6:30am Mom woke up so I got out of the bath tub and moved to the front room to be on my laptop.

rest of the time till 3pm Nothing to do, dad had errands and mom was in her room.  Had some energy finally so cleaned up my room some, updated blog, fb chatted with a friend, and blogged.

3pm-4:30pm Take mid-day medicine, about an hour late because wrapped up in trying to complete the link blog.  Went to lunch with dad, to Thai restaurantblog.  My sister had called during the time period before and was having a bad day because she lost an important contract at work, so I went to Baskins and Robbins to buy her some dunkin donut’s coffee pod things for her Keurig.

4:30-5pm Dropped off stuff and chatted with sister and brother-in-law for a bit.

5pm-8pm Trying to pass time until a New Years Get Together at 9pm, sort of nervous about socializing and not drinking.  Put my before bed pills in my purse in case I need to spend the night or start to feel nauseous and need to take them.

8pm-9pm Go get Taco Bell to bring to party and drive about 1/2 hour to the house.  Get lost on the way and trying to re-navigate (I have terrible spatial skills)

9pm-midnight Try to be social, awkward at times, actually start some conversations, lots of inside jokes I don’t get, offered marijuana I don’t drink alcohol or use drugs, regularly wondering if I said the wrong thing in converations.

Midnight to 1am Driving home and being super careful because it’s New Years Eve, Slightly hypomanic and paranoid.

1am- 4am Get home, get on computer catch up with some blogs, think about the future, go lay down and listen to podcasts for an hour and a half.  Can’t sleep get up and take a bath and read on my iPad.  Giddy but glad to be feeling on the upper end.

Currently been 31 hours since I have slept.