Tag Archives: accomplishments

World Mental Health Day 2016

10 Oct

Today is World Mental Health Day.  If you had told me a few years ago that I would be moved out from my parents house, going to a 4 year university and hadn’t been in the hospital for almost 2 years I would have thouworld-mental-health-day-10-october-earth-globe-in-handsght you had to be kidding me.  I am amazed at the progress I have made in the last two years.  With four official diagnoses, 8 prescription medications, and a few appointments a month I’ve managed to stay stable for the first time in 10 years.  My counseling appointments are decreasing from every week to every two weeks or sometimes three.  I have few self harming urges and while the suicidal thoughts still come and go; I don’t have the urge to act on them like I use to and tend not to ruminate.  I used to think that I would be trapped in my lower state of functioning for the rest of my life, I hung on mostly for other people and out of guilt.  Now (most times) I actually look forward to the future.  I anticipate flare ups and relapses, I know I have acute chronic illnesses.  But I am enjoying the moment and success I have right now.

A Whole Lot of Stuff

8 May

Yesterday was the NAMI Walk here is a picture of my 2016 Team:

NAMI 2016 Team

Biggest team yet with 23 participants, 4 of which were children and 2 of which were dogs.  It rained so it was a good turnout of my 31 people registered.  I met my fund raising goal of $1,500.  The highest amount I’ve raised in all 4 years too.

goal met!

My ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) Evaluation  is set for May 24th so we’ll see what happens I also have an appointment with the therapist that day and it’s a week after school ended.  Me and my case manager have decided to go to meetings once every two weeks because I’m doing good but that might chance with the loss of structure from summer and some realizations I had when talking with some Autistic friends.  I’m set to receive to more AAs this semester, Associate Degrees or 2 years degrees one in Foreign Languages and the other in LGBT studies (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender).  I’m not going to either commencement ceremony but for my LGBT studies one I am going to a more informal Rainbow Graduation and 20 somethings friend is going.  I only invited 3 people, my sister and family friend couldn’t go both are traveling.

I signed my commitment thing to go to UC Davis and will be going to their transfer day this Friday and touring student housing and making my decision when I get home I plan on filling out the forms and putting my deposit down for student housing.  My financial aid finally went through and I’m relieved I won’t be paying that much for college so if my unpredictable parents do something stupid I’m still okay.

Things are good but I’m exhausted from yesterday.

Going into overwhelm mode

5 Mar

Time to write. Today has been a chill day. I think I may be getting sick. The weather is icky and my sister is stuck cleaning so no walk today. I’ve spent most the day sleeping, in bed, or in the bath. I did a SMASH page on getting accepted to San Diego State University. Because of all the lounging around its been hard not to get stuck in my head. 20 somethings friend and I are suppose to study tonight instead of Sunday night because he has something else he wants to do Sunday night. I should be studying now. I have my sociology midterm Thusday. I just won’t until my friend comes over and there is the reason/pressure to. I was thinking today about  how I use to wonder if I was an Aspie. I guess now I’ll find out. It’s hard for me not to google symptoms and just try to self diagnosis but for this I want a real accurate so I’m trying to stay away. I looked at San Diego State’s website quite a bit this morning; housing, my majors, campus life, disability services, tuition. I’m running out of things to do to keep my brain occupied, maybe I’ll have to start my studying/hmwk early.

Counseling Update 3/4/16

4 Mar

Today was an interesting day.  Because my case manager has been so busy and her role within my health insurance is changing my appointments are now about 30 minutes a week instead of the usual hour, I assume if I needed a full hour she would be there for me.  First  things first, yesterday I found out I got into San Diego State University which is/was my first choice for attending school but would require a move and some big changes.  I earlier had sort of written it off because I was not stable enough, but now am actually considering it.  Anyways, if you follow me on my blog Facebook page you would see I was “feeling stoked!”  My case manager practically cried today when she found out, she was so proud and excited.  It also happens to be her alma mater.  The main reason I applied is it’s the only college in the state that has a BA in LGBT studies.

Next I mentioned how I went to 20 somethings group last night and after group, one of the members was talking about a co-worker who had to move office cubicles because of the strong scent of another co-workers perfume/cologne.  It was a good opportunity to bring up Sensory Processing Disorder, and it being a spectrum and the complexities.  I also explained my history with it.  While recanting the story to my case manager she was surprised I had so many issues with it, as we have never talked about it all together in one session, she suggested I get an evaluation for ASD  (Autistic Spectrum Disorders) because of these and other symptoms I have, she’s going to talk to the therapist about it.  I feel torn; another diagnosis, possible more resources especially if I’ll be making this big step towards moving.  There’s always something new.

2015 in review

1 Jan

2015 was the first year in 10 years where I didn’t have a psych hospitalization. That’s not to say 2015 was all peachy but much smoother sailing than 2014. Big things

  • I had my first girlfriend in a long time.
  • I worked through some trying social situations that caused jealousy and rejection feelings, and I think I’m near over it.
  • I traveled to Hawaii and Canada with my sister.
  • I had multiple fun trips to Disneyland.
  • I started an completed a year long DBT program.
  • I got accepted to UC Davis which is great but has me having failing fears that have lead to impulsive decisions others have thought to be dangerous
  • I completed the 100 days of Happy
  • I completed my 365 SMASH Book
  • I think I’m learning to let go.

The Power of Words and New Year’s Intentions

1 Jan

I just read my New Year’s post from last year.  I was trying to see if I documented any of my New Year’s Intentions.  I call them intentions instead of resolutions because they are things I intend on accomplishing in the year.  No that last years blog was a wrap up of 2014 and now I feel the need for a wrap up of 2015, but later.  Seriously though, read that 2014 post.

I’ve had a hard time expressing my feelings since I can remember.  It always seemed unsafe and a disadvantage.  I thought if people knew I loved and cared about them, they would use this information to manipulate or guilt me.  I thought it would give them the power.  My thinking has done some refreshing this last year and around Christmas time I decided I’d like to verbally tell a few people that I loved them.  I had written it in cards and the people knew, it was more something I wanted to do for myself.  Christmas I was unable to, had plans a few times but was too anxious.  Tonight I told my sister and 20 somethings friend that I loved them and I actually used the words “I love you.”  It was sort of freeing.  I put a lot of stock in words, sincerity, and being genuine.

On to New Year’s Intentions as I was writing them this afternoon along with the looming thought of saying those three little words I was surprised.  I really could only think of three: 1. Travel somewhere international 2. Travel to New York 3. Transfer to a 4 year university.  Nothing on my mind about self care and mental health or even surviving which have so often been the themes of new year’s intentions.  It’s almost like a normal person wrote them!

Last years were: 1. Work on personal hygiene. 2.  Take and pass 3 classes. 3. Go for at least 3 dates within a 3 month time period. 4. Go on at least a 5 minute walk everyday.  For the most part I have improved drastically in personal hygiene, yeah I still have some to work on but it’s amazing to brush my teeth and not have to remind myself it’s something I have to do.  I passed all 3 of my spring classes without having to withdraw, same for the 2 fall classes I took.  I had a girlfriend for the month of January and part of February so that changed the dating scene.  I have been going on walks with my sister pretty consistently since summer, I’m trying to get where I’m okay going for walks alone, but not there yet.

2015 was better than 2014, that prior post was correct in predicting that.  More to come in a soon to be released Year in Review.

Anxiety Awards

25 Nov

Source Buzz Feed

Graduated from Year Long DBT Class

11 Nov

Yesterday I finished my last class of my DBT year long program. I got a certificate from them as well as my sister (in case Kaiser didn’t do anything).

What I learned most was that my interpersonal skills aren’t that great because of problems regulating emotion and tolerating distress. This was helpful to know since I feel confident in those two skill sets.

One Year

22 Oct

It’s been a whole year where I haven’t been hospitalized, this is the longest I’ve gone without hospitalizations in ten years!!!  I also didn’t need partial hospitalization, IOP, or crisis residential in this year.  Wow!   WOW!  WOW!!!

Love Me Challenge: Day 21

14 Aug


Day 21: Something you are proud of:

Five months, seven days since I last self harmed.  Over two years before that.