What have I become

21 May

I’m going to fail a class for the first time in my life this quarter. Earlier this afternoon when I realized it I was in that not care mood I’ve been in and out of for weeks. I’ve already made adjustments to my school schedule for the next two sessions since two classes counted on me passing this.

Now I feel overwhelmed. Sad. A failure. Like the worlds falling apart which it does a lot internally but usually I can pretend to the world that everything’s okay. Not now. Not this. I’m either not good enough or current circumstances are causing me not to be able to write adequate Spanish literary critiques about swans.

Either way the consequences feel devastating. I’m trying to stay coping alive. I took some NyQuil. I’ll be okay after the shock wears off I assume or at least that’s what people will try to tell me.

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