14 May

It’s time to put myself back into not care mode its apparent neither do either.  It’s been an empty house all day.  I went to class and both clubs as well as met up with classmates to do homework.  I’m back to feeling like last year, but more complicated.  I just want to go home, but now home is uncomfortable too.  I’m trying to be play positive but it is getting too much.  The PTSD mode is pretty much out of my system though no one other than 20 something friend asked or noticed.  I’m to the point where I’ll begin having sex with guys.  I don’t care if it sets off PTSD again, I managed.  My testosterone is making it too much to deal with and I’m curious.  Right now fuck consequences, fuck everything.  Very BPD.

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