Archive | 8:11 PM

Rarity: Looking for support

2 Apr

It’s not often I go out of myself to seek support.  I don’t really like people knowing what’s going on with me.  I generally don’t like people who always do what I just did on Facebook but I felt desperate and nothing else seemed to be working.  So I posted on one of my personal Facebook accounts about this failure loop that’s been going on for a couple weeks.  I din’t mention how bad it was, or the suicidality along with it or anything like that.  Just toned it down looking for advice or support, not like me usually.  I got some which was nice and now I have a few affirmations I’m trying to repeat every time this loop keeps trying to get out of control to stop it.  Hopefully it will help.

In addition to that I’m having borderline symptoms I’m trying to deal with.  I am giving myself a lot of credit because considering the circumstances I think I am doing a very good job.  It’s amazing to think I have come this far.  Even two years ago I would not have been in a very bad place with rejection/abandonment feelings and suicidal and self harm stuff.  It’s not to say that it doesn’t come and go, but it’s not constant and I don’t let it live there.  I try to be realistic and move forward with my life.