Archive | 6:07 PM
4 Dec

I was starting to come out of the darkness.  A few people had convinced me that whatever happens life will be okay and to stop worrying so much about the future.  That took away a lot of the panic I was experiencing.  Enough so that I got it about 4 days of studying the GRE before actually taking it.  Unfortunately, I scored lower than I did on the practice tests in boot camp including the very intro test with no introduction or studying of the the GRE.  Now I am even more disillusioned.  I know I can take it again, and I will have to, and study more or take private lessons or figure something out.  But there is only 2 weeks left of school.  There are 3 papers due this week, and 3 finals next week.  Because of the post-GRE feelings I feel hopeless about everything (yes I know this is some form of cognitive distortion) and don’t want/can’t find the energy to work on the essays.  All I want to do is sleep.  I’m having crying spells again.  Last night I ended up taking some anxiety medicine.  I don’t expect to be feeling better after this quarter is over.