The problems lack of memory brings

5 Mar

Today while driving back to my apartment from home, I was crying which is a pretty normal occurrence.  It’s a 40 minute drive, I’m alone and I don’t have to worry about anyone finding me or asking me questions.  As I was crying and thinking about my time here at UC Davis, my transition, and my lack of friends I was wondering if this was what it was like at the private christian college.  Of course I don’t remember!

With everything going on, I’m getting back suicidal again.  I think it might help if I could remember if this is what it was like before, because if it was- I either adjusted, quit, or got through it; because hey I’m here.

Again mostly annoyed by the lack of friends.  Which makes the thought of dying easier when there is no one to live for.  I got the few standard people but they are most distant with my school duties and their current life duties.

Apparently again can’t be ASD because I care about having a friend or two.  Fucking ridiculous.  And these people are suppose to be professionals.  People annoy me to most an extent and I’m picky as hell about friends, but I want a couple.

2 Responses to “The problems lack of memory brings”

  1. M.J.Neely March 6, 2017 at 2:34 AM #

    I can relate to this a lot. I have struggled to make friends at uni – and don’t consider myself to have made any other than people to say hi to and that really is the extent of it. It can feel and be lonely.

    I’ve found making friends through hobbies and groups to be a much more successful method in meeting people, talking to people and making connections which hopefully will become friendships. X

  2. manyofus1980 March 6, 2017 at 10:29 AM #

    hi, I am sorry that it is so difficult for you. I find making and keeping friends hard. your not alone. sending hugs. xxx

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