I’m overwhelmed. I did it to myself and I’m not surprised, but I also think I can stick it out and enjoy it while not stressing out what everyone else thinks. Along with that I ran into some unexpected financial issues because I just realized I spent all my checking account that’s in the bank. That’s okay because I have money that’s not in the bank; yes, I’m one of these people. But really how did I spend over $2,000? Anyways, now this weekend I got to go home to put money in the bank so I can pay my credit card and I was trying not to go home this weekend because I feel like I am drowning at school. Monday I see the therapist so maybe on the way to the therapist’s office; since I’ll be close to home. I got so overwhelmed with this financial stuff and how I am just not succeeding at life that I took one of my valium to just go to sleep and not deal with it for awhile, I set my alarm for 4pm. I had a support group at 5pm. My psychiatrist would be disappointed in me, maybe the therapist but not my case manager. I could of took all 4 valium (all I had) or them plus all my other pills (yes I considered it for a quick sec.) I could of told myself to time for rest like I have in the past and self harmed to have the energy to write the paper that’s due tonight and probably fake okay to the group I never ended up going to. The weather is super rainy stormy in California; what we need after our years of Drought but I’m not in the mood to get real clothes on and then rain clothes just to go out for 2 hours when I don’t really feel like socializing. I still didn’t manage crying- the tears are locked somewhere- within the resolute “I can do this, this is nothing” facade. I imagine I made right the choice, no mater what it was the choice I made, off to do homework.
Marci, Mental Health, & More
Marci- Me a 32 year old gay female living in California in the United States.
Mental Health- I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar type. I blog about my own experience with mental health as well as resources, research, and re-blogs relating to mental health.
More- Art, Poetry, Book Reviews, LGBT, Languages, Photos, Religion, Current Events, Opinions, and Rants.
I laughed in my head
My Favorite Posts
Guest Post on Bipolar for Life Breaking the Silence of Stigma: Not What You'd Expect
Changes and My Identity in Mental Illness Object Permanence
Sexuality and Mental Illness Intertwined Mad Pride? Gay Pride? Identity...
Borderline Personality Disorder Infographic Borderline Personality Disorder Infographic
Schizoaffective Disorder Infographic Schizoaffective Disorder Infographic