Just another “Election aftermath”

10 Nov

I live in California a pretty democratic progressive state, everyone was outraged, sad, angry, pissed, scared, and a variety of other bad feeling when Trump won- well most everybody.  My dad would have voted for him if he was in the states.  Everyone who lived in my court voted for him and I knew others that did.  I was sad and scared, but mostly shocked, it took awhile for the real feelings to kick in.

 

I’m 33, 34 in two days.  I’ve waited a long time to start transitioning.  I haven’t felt safe to do it in my own home.  Now I don’t feel safe to do it in my country and worry about government policies and procedures that may prevent me from doing so.  I already know it won’t go quick as I like because of my pre-existing mental health conditions; especially the episode a couple weeks ago with the voices.  Now I feel set back, hopeless, suicidal.  I wonder if I should abandon myself, my progress of the last few months with transitioning and the last 5 years of so with accepting my sexuality.  I don’t want to be unsafe but at the same time I want to die.  But I’d rather have it be by my own hand than some hateful bigot.

One Response to “Just another “Election aftermath””

  1. Bradley November 10, 2016 at 12:13 PM #

    The fear and anger hasn’t left me yet, I can only imagine how you feel. These are sad times.

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