When I talk about my diagnoses, I always say my primary are schizoaffective and BPD because they affect my life the most my other two currently diagnosed are PTSD and SPD. Most people don’t even know what SPD is and although I meet all the criteria for PTSD we don’t know my trauma, weird much.
Moving out of my parents house for the first time at age 33 has set off some sensory issues this week. I took a shower for the first time in nearly two years. I HATE SHOWERS! One of my sensory issues revolves around my hands getting wet, and wet hands touching things, at home I had a bath tub. While in inpatient setting I was forced to take a shower so it is not like I have never taken a shower before but the longest I’ve been there is 13 days. I will live in this place a year. In a week period I got away with taking one shower and driving home to take one bath, but I know this is not a long term solution. My hair was very dirty. I can’t use dry shampoo because the smell also bothers me. I got use to washing my hair in the bath tub with my hands so I assume I will get use to showers but man this is torture at first. Lil sis has some sensory issues too, but is anti-psychiatry and thus undiagnosed and I am unsure if she meets criteria but gave me the tip of bringing a gym towel in the shower with me to wrap my hands in and keep them dry until I need to wash my hair then throw it out quick and wash my hair. That won’t help issues like water pressure but it’s a start.
Last night I went to an event with my roommates on campus, I ended up taking a separate car because I wasn’t done with dinner by the time they left. I kinda already feel a little left out by them, but maybe it’s my paranoia. I was good for the first hour and a half and then the live band music got too loud for my sensory issues and I had to leave. I felt lame and embarrassed. I don’t really know how to explain it to my roommates, if I should, and this is really just the tip of the iceberg in regards to my mental illness. All 5 of my roommates are either psychology or sociology students and one is taking abnormal psych this semester. I mentioned my sensory processing disorder early on and of course no one knew what it was in adults. When I described it was a common co-occuring disorder in children with autism like kids who have difficulties with certain textures of clothes and have tags cut off t-shirts a couple nodded. It was very simple. So it’s not like they have no introduction.