Today I had my second part of my Autistic Spectrum Disorder Evaluation. It was just one long questionnaire with 344 questions! It almost seemed like a general psych test because there were questions about anger, drugs, alcohol, anxiety, depression, all kinds of stuff. I told him at the end that I had some other diagnoses and some questions were familiar. My appointment to go over the results of all the testing together are July 12th, which seems like a long time away. I’m kinda on board with 20 somethings friend now and feel like I already have a diagnosis but lets see what Kaiser has to say, although it took them forever to figure out the Schizoaffective diagnosis and even longer to find a good medication combination. And I asked the guy what happens and he says he pretty much sends the results to the therapist, so I guess that’s it? I’d be more comfortable asking my case manager about it and using her as an intermediary and I know she can read my file and all the notes too.
The Orlando shooting set off the voices, and that was the post the other day. Luckily it was less than a few hours of psychosis stopped by some extra Latuda I took. I tried to stay away from the news of it on Sunday but it was everywhere, plus the Latuda makes me drowsy. After 3pm the psychosis was gone. I always worry when it onsets again, that this will be the time it doesn’t go away, that this will be the time that I lose control. In this case… that this will be a time I need to be hospitalized and I’ll miss my orientation for transferring and it will screw everything up.
People think I worry too much or to take it one step at a time. But I live on the brink of insanity. I need to be very vigilant.