My relationship with my mom has always been strange. She’s never been the motherly type. Often growing up and even up until a few years ago I excused her behavior as her “being in her own little world.” It’s definitely emotional neglect. She’s better now, but still slips into it like tonight. Where I crave some human interaction but all she wants to do is stare at the computer screen, give one word answers, and sigh. My cue to leave. I cry. I feel insignificant and unimportant. After all these years you think I would have accepted this or gotten over it, apparently not. Still want to be loved, still want attention.
February 24, 2016
[…] The other night, my mom was blowing me off and I felt unloved and insignificant. It sent me down, but not into an emotional spiral like it would have in the past. I was trying to cope with it and the ensuing feeling of loneliness and insignificance. I texted my sister to see about going over to see her and the dog, but she had a meeting to go to and since I had just been crying and emotional, I didn’t want to go with just her husband and the dog. 20 somethings friend was at the closer college for chemistry club so I texted him to see if he wanted to meet up for ice cream, after club ended. I was still feeling sorta desperate and even put a status update on my Facebook, even though it was my “lesser” Facebook. […]