Teasing things apart

4 Feb

I have 4 officially diagnosed mental illnesses all across the board with a variety of symptoms.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell where something starts or ends and where I began, especially since I’ve been living with them for as long as I can remember.  Today in my body fitness class we did fitness testing and as I predicted I did terrible, well in reality I did horrible and just predicted terrible.  I couldn’t even finish the 3 minute step test, I couldn’t breathe and was getting dizzy.  My body fat percent was over 40, my BMI was over 30, My flexibility, sit ups, and push ups were all in the very poor category for my age and gender.  On the plus side I can only go up from here.  I know my medication causes problems with my metabolism and my lack of activity doesn’t help, but it’s another thing I wonder how “physical healthy” can I be with all these mental illnesses and on psych meds.  When I went to see my psychiatrist on last Thursday he made it clear even with the weight gain and a family history of heart disease we couldn’t change my meds.  Also when I think about my limited sexual experience and sexual desire, how much is related to mental illness, side effects from meds, and just how I am naturally.  I fear I will never know since all three have been and will be with me all my life.

2 Responses to “Teasing things apart”

  1. manyofus1980 February 6, 2016 at 5:20 PM #

    meds have a huge role to play i think. its hard to lose weight while on them. i’m not very fit either. i need to try to get more healthy. not easy. x

    • mm172001 February 10, 2016 at 4:41 PM #

      I’ll be documenting my journey

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