A child

10 Jan

Sometimes I feel like a child and I don’t really know what to do.  I know certain behaviors are not okay to indulge in.  When I am hurt I want to stop hurting.  I think that’s normal.  But I don’t know how to stop the hurt, sometimes I can dull if for a little while with DBT Skills, sometimes the BPD emotion mind will just pass on it’s own, but other days I have to give my phone away so I don’t do something I regret.  I cry all night and then again most the next day.  But I won’t let me be comforted.  My sister tried to hug me last night and I screamed at her.  I’m so use to closing up and shutting people out that it never occurred to me that maybe someone wanted to help.  And then of course I never know if it would of help because I just shut down and didn’t allow it.

Sometimes seeing yourself as you are is so hard, especially when you don’t see the good that others do.

2 Responses to “A child”

  1. manyofus1980 January 11, 2016 at 7:19 PM #

    Sometimes its easier to just shut down. Its hard to be vunerable. XX

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