Trying

I woke up pretty early because I went to bed early last night.  I hate days where I don’t have anything to do or just don’t actually end up doing anything.  As soon as I got up my mom told me my counseling appointment had been canceled.  My first reaction was to go back to bed, an imminent sign that today was going to be bad again.  I only laid in bed for about 5 minutes before I got up and told myself I was going to try and have a good day.  I ate breakfast and made some cinnamon rolls, my way of self-soothing.  I distracted for a little while playing all my lives in Candy Crush.  After writing this I’m going to go take a bath or work on my SMASH book, self-care and more distracting.  I need to stay away from the news today, there are too many triggering stories.  My mind has already gone a little wild catastrophizing why my case manager had to cancel my appointment.  I’m trying to recognize this as a cognitive distortion and distract myself so I don’t keep coming back to it.  I’m going to text 20 somethings friend when it gets a little later in the morning, I don’t want to wake him up, and try to plan some purposeful pleasure.   It’s a day for a lot of DBT skills.

Tags: 20 somethings friend, case manager, catastrophizing, cognitive distortions, counseling, DBT, dissapointment, distracting, fear of abandonment, purposeful pleasure, self care, self soothe, trying