A cloud

19 Nov

It feels like there is a cloud following me around every where I go today.  I shouldn’t complain because it’s been much worse and I’ve felt other things following me around before that turned into severe dissociation or hallucinations and luckily this isn’t that.  20 somethings friend joked, like the zoloft commercial and sent me a pic.  Yep, that’s exactly how I feel.  On the verge of tears but can’t cry, maybe if I start thinking about life and the future I’m sure I could send myself into a panic and crying fits, but it’s not worth it and I doubt I would feel relief afterwards.  I have counseling tomorrow, turns out Kaiser gave in and reached an agreement with the mental health department and so my case manager is here this week and I’ll see her tomorrow.  I’m thinking about making it a serious session, but not sure if I want to because she’ll be off the week of Thanksgiving (next week).  About abandonment (her’s or the upcoming of 20 somethings friend) or the panic over the future/failing and me getting extremely impulsive and dysregulated.


2 Responses to “A cloud”

  1. manyofus1980 November 21, 2015 at 1:28 AM #

    so sorry to hear you are struggling. Sending some hugs. XX

I'l love to hear your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: