The day is not going well.
My automatic thoughts go to death.
Oh how I just want this to be over.
I have plans and a possible future but still the mind wanders to death.
This can’t be normal, just a state of ambivalence.
I won’t do anything, I don’t have the motivation or the drive.
Sometimes I wonder if I have the motivation or drive to live.
To me living is just the absence of death, the default.
If there is a God, please kill me now.
I’ve had enough.