Resource: Communication Errors

13 Oct

  1. Truth- You insist you’re “right” and the other person is “wrong.”
  2. Blame- You imply the problem is the other person’s fault.
  3. Defensiveness- You argue and refuse to admit any imperfection.
  4. Martyrdom- You imply that you’re an innocent victim.
  5. Put-Down- You imply the other person is a loser.
  6. Labeling- You call the person “a jerk”, “a loser”, or worse.
  7. Sarcasm- Your tone of voice is belittling or patronizing.
  8. Counterattack- You respond to criticism with criticism.
  9. Scapegoating- You imply the other person is defective or has a problem.
  10. Diversion- You change the subject or list past grievances.
  11. Self-Blame- You act as if you’re awful and terrible.
  12. Hopelessness- You claim you’ve tried everything and nothing works.
  13. Demandingness- You complain when people aren’t as you expected.
  14. Denial- You imply that you don’t feel angry, sad or upset when you do.
  15. Helping- Instead of listening, you give advice or “help.”
  16. Problem Solving- You try to solve the problem and ignore feelings.
  17. Mind reading- You expect others to know how you feel without telling them.
  18. Passive-Agression- You say nothing, pout, or slam doors

From DBT Class handout from David Burns.

3 Responses to “Resource: Communication Errors”

  1. Andi October 13, 2015 at 8:10 PM #

    Good stuff.

  2. manyofus1980 October 13, 2015 at 8:54 PM #

    Great info. Thanks for this. XX

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  1. A day in review: 10/13/15 | Marci, Mental Health, & More - October 13, 2015

    […] week, since 3 of the 5 of us weren’t there.  It was about communication, you can see the communication errors here.  Something else he was saying really hit home about trying to figure out the other person’s […]

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