The uneasiness is still there and now I’m feeling a lack of connection. Connection keeps me alive. I’ve slept all day practically yesterday, recovering from the Disneyland trip. I debated closing this blog down. I feel like a couple years ago I had a community that would comment and we’d help each other through life’s ups and downs. I don’t feel like that anymore and that’s one reason why I’m thinking about stopping blogging. Another is that I don’t feel like I’m reaching anyone. Blogging seems pointless.
I feel disconnected in real life too. I am again doubting my ability to transfer. This week I don’t see my case manager unless I message her tomorrow asking for an emergency appointment. I’m jealous of the bloggers who see their therapists more often or get hugs or stuff like that. Things have been rough but I’m not sure I want to divulge or even if there would be a point to it.
It all seems pointless and I’m having trouble staying above water.