I’ve been mostly silent on my blog for the last couple days and in general for the last couple days. I wish I could say that it’s because I was busy and doing well but that isn’t the case. When I go deeper into depression and suicidality I drop off the planet. Mostly it’s to self preserve. My supports weren’t helping me, even when I asked for it. People wonder why I don’t reach out for help, that’s exactly why. I decided not to go to the hospital I have a lot of plans coming up in October and my inpatient psychiatrist said that if the med combo I’m on right now doesn’t work. It’s time to go with an MAOI but in the hospital setting which would mean a 4 week stay at least. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I may not have much of a life anymore but still spending 4 weeks in a hospital sounds like my last resort and it’s his too. So what if the MAOI weren’t to work. He joked about shipping me to Russia. He’s Russian. Anyways, I’m down and flat. Stressed out about the future and am internally thinking I don’t have a future why bother. It’d be so much easier to just opt out of life. No I’m not on the edge yet. But no one even seems interested in encouraging or helping me back away from it.
Marci, Mental Health, & More
Marci- Me a 32 year old gay female living in California in the United States.
Mental Health- I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar type. I blog about my own experience with mental health as well as resources, research, and re-blogs relating to mental health.
More- Art, Poetry, Book Reviews, LGBT, Languages, Photos, Religion, Current Events, Opinions, and Rants.
I laughed in my head
My Favorite Posts
Guest Post on Bipolar for Life Breaking the Silence of Stigma: Not What You'd Expect
Changes and My Identity in Mental Illness Object Permanence
Sexuality and Mental Illness Intertwined Mad Pride? Gay Pride? Identity...
Borderline Personality Disorder Infographic Borderline Personality Disorder Infographic
Schizoaffective Disorder Infographic Schizoaffective Disorder Infographic