Some quirks

11 Sep

That are probably symptoms of mental illness.  (I don’t self diagnosis but have a lot of habits or symptoms of disorders but they don’t interfere with my life, at least I don’t think they do)

  • I only eat out at about 6 restaurants and get on food kicks.  Currently I’m eating a cheese enchilada, all beans, and a flour tortilla about 5 times a week in the last 2 months or so.
  • Most summers all I eat is one specific brand of cereal and ice cream.  This year I’ve nixed the ice cream due to weight gain but the cereal is Life.  Last year it was Life too.  The year before Lucky Charms.  The year before that Kix.  I tend to cycle between the three.  I’ve already had two bowls of life cereal today for breakfast and lunch.
  • I’m clumsy.  I fall a lot often for no reason.  I have terrible balance.  Lots of times I have bruises and things from falling that I don’t really re-call.  I just found out this year that it might have to do with my sensory disorder.
  • I’m really awkward in social setting.  I talk fast and ramble, especially when there is silence.  I can’t stand silence.  I don’t know social rules or norms that good so some stuff I say is completely inappropriate.
  • I don’t wash my hands very often.  Or put lotion or sunscreen on.  I don’t like liquids touching my hands.  Also new realization that relates to my sensory disorder.
  • I used to refuse to take classes in college unless I knew one person in them, so if we had to do group projects I would know someone.  Also incredibly shy and never talk to but one person in the class and only if required.
  • I was suppose to be left handed but my mom changed me when I was little.  I have found left handed written letters I don’t remember due to dissociation.
  • In junior high I told everyone I had multiple personalities, there names were Marci, Darcy, and Birdie.  Little did I know about 15 years later a therapist would suggest dissociative identity disorder.
  • When I use to self harm it would have to be in parallel lines and in odd multiples usually 3-11.
  • I have CDs of Marci Music that are just composed of songs with lyrics that I think relate to my life, I also have a song category here on Facebook.
  • In 7th grade I was voted best attitude on my team, kind of a popularity thing.  I think it was due to me spending my lunch money on candy and soda and giving half of it away.
  • I’ve never tried drugs not even marijuana, there is so much addiction in my family.
  • I’m 32 and still live at home. 😦
  • Since age 19 I’ve been in weekly therapy.  Most my therapists just go over how my week was and it’s like having an outlet and a person to talk to.  Mostly private and expensive
  • I have very strange sleep habits that cycle though.  Currently I sleep in about 2-4 hours blocks that add up to about 8 or 9 hours a day.
  • I’m afraid to make friends because I think they will leave or reject me.  Just recently would I consider myself to have a “best friend”
  • For awhile I thought I was asexual, now I think it’s more greysexual and related to trauma and psych meds.
  • I don’t like my breasts and want a reduction or removed, for while I thought this might be a trans type thing because I think it’s be easier to be a boy.  But now in the community I realize it’s not, I feel like a girl and identify as a girl- not a very girly girl but a girl
  • I went to a private christian university for 2 years, when I was trying to repent and live the “straight” lifestyle.  I was miserable.  The students sucked but the teachers were good.
  • I often have to end sentences with the words “Not that I remember” because of my severe memory issues with trauma and ECT

4 Responses to “Some quirks”

  1. Joyce September 11, 2015 at 6:55 PM #

    Don’t feel bad about still living at home at age 32. My sister is 39 and still lives at home.

  2. Li September 11, 2015 at 10:32 PM #

    Good to get it all out. I have found that writing it all down somehow really helps… Hugs ♥️

  3. manyofus1980 September 14, 2015 at 1:24 AM #

    Hugs. Inteeresting how you said you had did when younger, like it was a sorta realisation maybe? You just didnt know the right name for it. I’ve also been in weekly therapy since age 17

    • mm172001 September 14, 2015 at 12:15 PM #

      I’m still not sure I have it now. But I do dissociate and have BPD related identity issues.

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