Realizations, questions, and progress

8 Sep

So I had DBT tonight and we were talking about assertiveness within the module of Interpersonal Effectiveness.  This is where I dropped out years ago, so I don’t know a lot about Interpersonal effectiveness.  I’m not an assertive person, mostly passive sometimes passive aggressive.  We learned some acronyms depending on what your priority is in the interaction.  I’ll do a separate post on that later.  I’m not a good communicator.  Tonight I kinda figured out why, I asked how to be assertive and use the DEAR MAN skills with someone who can be super aggressive and verbally attacking you.  They pretty much said you can’t, I told them how I maneuver around it using my sister as a mediator.  They said that was effective and skillful and I should take credit for it.  I was surprised.  So one parent can be verbally abusive/aggressive and the other is kinda on her own planet/neglectful- this was especially true growing up it’s a little better now.  No wonder I never learned to communicate, I was kind of in impossible situations.  Now I can try it but with more receptive people and maybe some with my parents if they are willing to engage.

I had an academic advising appointment this morning, two actually but the second got canceled due to jury duty.  I theoretically could transfer to a four year university in Fall 2016.  Am I ready?  I don’t know, I feel like I’d need to do some serious work to be ready in a year, but do I really want to waste an extra year when everything’s already completed?  Just to be safe?  Will I get complacent and never go?  Is the time now?  Am I stable enough?  What about moving and insurance and medication and therapy?  Can I line that up in a year?  I’m considering it, any readers opinions or tips would be awesome.

The side voices were episodic voices they mostly had to do with suicidal and homicidal things, a specific trigger was school shootings (no idea why).  Since being on Latuda there have been a couple school shooting and no re-emergence of the voices.  I was hesitant and you never really know when they’ll show up.  But I was happy a usual trigger wasn’t applicable anymore.  Last Thursday there was a shooting on one of the campuses I attend, I attend my classes Monday and Wednesday though.  Full lockdown, one dead, 2 more injured, and they still haven’t caught the other person involved.  Turns out they all knew each other and the 3 victims were students leaving their classes.  So it happened on campus and wasn’t planned.  But still no voices!!! I’m stoked and now think that they may never return.  That’s progress!

5 Responses to “Realizations, questions, and progress”

  1. Andi September 9, 2015 at 5:41 AM #

    Whoa, that’s super intense about the shooting! I can see how you’d be activated. As far as a 4-year school, I’m not sure what you should do. But I went through a somewhat similar experience and decided to just go for it. Turned out to be one of the absolute best decisions I ever made for myself. Moving to a new place, meeting new people, studying my major (psych) was so good for me. I grew and thrived on that campus (and also met my wife!).

    • mm172001 September 9, 2015 at 9:15 AM #

      Thanks for sharing your experience, I think that’s what I’m leaning towards

  2. Amb September 9, 2015 at 12:15 PM #

    A shooting! That’s terrifying! You’ll make the decision that’s best for you as far as university is concerned. You’re strong and resilient and will thrive no matter where you go 🙂

  3. manyofus1980 September 14, 2015 at 1:39 PM #

    omg how scary to have that happen right on the campus you attend! I think you know yourself best and you’ll decide in time what you should do after giving it much thought. Dont rush it though. XX

I'l love to hear your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: