Went and saw my case manager today and when I talked about how I felt earlier in the week, she asked why didn’t I call. I’m not really sure, I knew I could wait till Wednesday, maybe it was thinking it wasn’t enough of a “crisis” or thinking I might get hospitalized, I don’t know. In addition, I’ll have no appointments next week she is going to training and Monday is a holiday here in the US. I asked if I could call Friday if I needed to and she said for sure.
We talked about my overwhelming emotions and apparently I’m doing the right thing. More than the right thing, with the addition of laundry, dishes, brushing my teeth, and taking a bath every day. She talked about noticing the good in-spite of everything I’m dealing with instead of saying the good stuff… but… I’m going to try that. We talked about how the two big things that are overwhelming me are 20 somethings friend leaving and transferring to another university. It sort of helps to know I can’t do anything even though she asked me if I could what would I do if I had complete control, and that made me feel better.
I’m just afraid that dealing with these two big things that I won’t be stable enough to deal with other realities of life like school, dating, friendships (?). In-spite of everything I’m still doing good I have 2 classes, am improving my independence and ADLs. I just gotta take it day by day. Hopefully school will feel routine in the next couple weeks and it won’t take so much energy.
She also talked about how when someone is in your heart that they can never really leave you. She gave me some tips on communicating with 20 somethings friend that will hopefully make it easier for me to not feel as overwhelmed, feel appreciated, and help be supportive too.