9/1/15 I tried

1 Sep

I’m overwhelmed.  I’m hoping once I get in the swing of things this feeling will pass.  Last night I was really considering going back to self harm as a coping mechanism, so far I haven’t but I haven’t ruled it out.  I feel like I’m going to cry all the time.  I cried for almost a half hour last night.  My case manager doesn’t want me taking Valium to numb the feelings/emotions so I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t use self harm as a substitute.  I don’t fully know what I want, but I don’t want to feel like this.  Anyone in DBT know how to accept the emotions without them totally overwhelming you and making you cry.  I learned tonight one of our DBT leaders has a new position so we will be getting one new one next week just to be introduced and then in 3 weeks she will be leading with the guy we still have left.  I talked to someone from okcupid a little today even though I felt dead.  I did log into French and did a little bit of work.  I didn’t manage to bathe or brush my teeth today but I think I’ll do it tonight before I go to bed, I guess the day is not over yet.  I tried and I really didn’t want to

8 Responses to “9/1/15 I tried”

  1. La Quemada September 1, 2015 at 11:05 PM #

    A former therapist of mine used to tell me that the self-harm option was always there, but there were other options that were safer and healthier that I could try first. Do you have a list of ways to soothe yourself when the feelings are so intense? A warm shower is often good for me, especially if I have nice-smelling shampoo or soap. Calm (but not sad) music. Lighting candles. Re-reading a favorite poem or inspirational text. Drawing a picture. I don’t know what things could work for you, but I hope you can find some. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time.

  2. Andi September 1, 2015 at 11:33 PM #

    I’m still working on accepting emotion without feeling like it’s drowning me. Hard stuff. I’m sorry you’re struggling, but I applaud your efforts. I know how hard it can be to do anything at all in these moments.

    • mm172001 September 2, 2015 at 12:41 PM #

      Thanks. I wish you the best with yours as well.

  3. Joyce September 2, 2015 at 5:25 AM #

    Feelings don’t last forever. This feeling will pass eventually. I learned that in DBT. I hope it helps a little.

    • mm172001 September 2, 2015 at 12:40 PM #

      I know that one, but the feeling keeps popping back up and I’m not sure if I’m accepting it right, I’ll ask my case manager today.

  4. Leesah Bear September 2, 2015 at 2:19 PM #

    Man I wrote a healthy amount for you. Boo. Basically me too. My psych at outpatient told me to use ice instead or self-harm as a substitute. Kinda like the urge will be there and relapse may happen. But instead of turning to what you do. Hold onto ice cubes or rub ice cubes on your self. Or put your head in cold water. I have been trying it’s not the same but I’m trying to to give into what I like to do to cope as I’ve done. It’s hard. Especially when it’s everything you’ve known how to deal with it all. If I find out anything I’ll let you know. I’m looking to find dbt therapies. Hopefully I can find one.

  5. manyofus1980 September 6, 2015 at 1:04 PM #

    The emotions will pass. So too will the urges. I know that seems trivial right now. But I hope you start to feel better soon. XX

    • mm172001 September 6, 2015 at 5:05 PM #

      they have by now but in the moment

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