Post counseling insights

17 Jun

So I talked about yesterday being horrible and all that. I talked a little about the good week. We talked a little bit about the progress I’m making.
 So I was talking about how I go into kid mode and just want someone to reassure me, praise me, hug me, etc. she says the only person who would be responsible for that would be a parent or partner. Neither which are options for me. I try really hard not to make people feel responsible for me and my stuff but when I’m in kid mode it’s hard to do anything mature. She talked about going out with friends and just being with them, and sometimes the mood changes and sometimes it doesn’t. I get that, sometimes I just feel I got no real childhood but that’s not other people’s fault. I mentioned how I should have read my positive planet. She says that’s drawing from myself even if it’s things other people helped me come up with. 

I sort of asked about why they think I’m getting better. She starts with “you know you can be difficult” I laughed. She just says she sees small things in me that show change and/or optimism. Like realizing the next day I should have read my positive planet. I also try really hard not to be drama or anything. And she said that’s good because then I’d be like this girl I don’t like. I take pride in trying not to be drama or use people and deal with most things on my own. 

I’m new to boundaries and it’s real hard when you’re in kid mode. Guess I gotta learn how to be my own parent. 

3 Responses to “Post counseling insights”

  1. manyofus1980 June 17, 2015 at 6:58 PM #

    Glad you got to talk about all this stuff Marci. I’m glad it helped. XX

  2. Cat June 18, 2015 at 9:25 AM #

    I’m not sure I agree with her about “only a partner or parent will be responsible for comfort” I suppose friends can also be that, but when we are single, in many ways we need to be these things to ourselves. I know that isn’t helpful because we have a long way to go before we can be this. I always sense changes in you through your posts, Marci. You are much more self-aware and while I know you have your bleak moments, you are also more in control with insight to process whatever’s going on for you

    • mm172001 June 18, 2015 at 10:56 AM #

      She meant a different kind of comfort. Friends can be comforting but when I go into kid mode I kind of expect to be taken care of and I think that’s what she means by a partner or a parent.
      Thanks, it’s always hardest to see it in ourselves and my family thinks I’m doing worse. Apparently I’m the identified sick one in the family and with me getting better it’s shaking things up.

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