Survival mode

30 Apr

I’ve kicked into survival mode, hopefully this will limit the voices.  I felt my body shutting down yesterday and while I know I need proper sleep and nutrition, that’s just not going to happen right now.  Oddly when studying the voices aren’t that bad.  The trick is to get to studying because they are telling me I’m not worth it, I’m too stupid, and I’m not going anywhere anyways.  Survival mode will probably limit the people from NAMI Walk coming over swimming Saturday after the walk.  Socializing with those people can create more stress, excite the voices, and I need to get shit done.  I’m thinking about messaging my case manager and trying to get extra support through these last couple weeks of the semester, but I’m not sure if I want her to see how bad it is… I’m not getting hospitalized, I don’t care what I have to do.  The voices are mostly under the scene anyways, unless I talk with them, dissociate, or have trouble communicating, listen to them and there commands- most people don’t really know what’s going on or how bad.  I hope they don’t take over control of the body, it’s only happened a couple times and if it does mums the word.  Maybe I’ll write later about them and everything else, for now it’s studying time.

One Response to “Survival mode”

  1. manyofus1980 May 30, 2015 at 1:02 PM #

    this post was in my inbox, hadnt seen it. I hope your ok now. Being in survival mode is needed sometimes. Do what you need to do and no more. Xx

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