Feeling a little better

17 Apr

The voices have taken a break.  I’ve gotten a little perspective.  Apparently it’s normal to be immature and irrational sometimes and to own that.  I saw my case manager she wanted to know what triggered the voices, I gave her all the detail I could and she said that didn’t sound like enough.  I tried to explain it isn’t a lot and to most people it’s be nothing.  She still thinks there is something underneath.  There was another instance of the voices I didn’t type up when they were yelling STUPID and BABY at me repeatedly.  She also wanted me to print out the blogs that have what the voices were saying, this makes me nervous.  I think people doubt my voices sometimes, heck I even doubt my voices sometimes.  So it seems like something to use that it’s not voices but just my thoughts or something like that.  But I know my thoughts and what they sound like and this wasn’t that.  Going to have Random Restaurant Friday with my sister and brother-in-law.  Saturday night study with 20 something’s friend instead of Sunday night which was part of the trigger last night.  (see above immature and irrational).  And Sunday apparently my sister is going to come over and we are going to do the equivalent of a study night where she does some stuff she needs to get done.  I don’t see that being productive but it was sweet of my sister to offer.  My case manager asked what was special about 20 something’s friend that I allowed him to get into my life like I do so few people, and I’m not really sure why I’m just glad I did.

5 Responses to “Feeling a little better”

  1. cazzroo April 18, 2015 at 12:52 AM #

    have you ever thought that the voices are something external to yourself? For example, when a person is an experiences channel, or medium -they hear voices too – they are from spirits that would like to connect with people in the realm in which we live… I believe that if we have not such nice voices coming to us – these are negative entities (for want of a better name at this moment!) that are toying with us because we don’t have the strength/understanding/something else to shut them out… When I was in hospital – was sectioned with “bipolar” I met a lady who had voices, and rather than treating her like the staff, and trying to suppress them I asked her what they were – i.e was it a person that she knew – I got the feeling it was an uncle – and she confirmed – in life he had abused her and had continued to hassle her after his death… I’m not saying its someone you know – but I think too much emphasis is on these voices being a result of our own biochemistry, without looking outside the box for understanding … I have had voices too, and they are actually my spirit guides – I have talked with other channels and clairvoyant people and they have confirmed who I think they are…So, I could consider this craziness or Psychosis, or I could take the stance of a medium/channel etc and say actually these guys are useful for me… now thats not too helpful if they voices are bad and its down to the individual to perhaps get an understanding of what these guys might be about…anyway – I think a different way of thinking of it is the only way…medications doesn’t seem to get it really!

    Good luck and if you’d like to discuss further – check out my blog or email me cazzroo@hotmail.com 🙂

    • mm172001 April 18, 2015 at 8:01 AM #

      I have a lot of different views on what the voices are and what they could be. I had a couple times where the voices were deceased people and I thought maybe they were actually contacting me from beyond the grave, but the content was negative. I have another set of voices that almost seem like friends or advisors at times. And these which my be a dissociated version of selves. I’m up for looking at things in new ways and don’t think this set is “pure psychosis” like some of my other voices. Thank you for your lengthy comment and perspective.

      • cazzroo April 20, 2015 at 12:01 AM #

        Hiya Marci – I’m glad to hear you’re considering different approaches… I really cannot recommend enough going to see a shamanic practitioner or a clairvoyant – they can advise you on how to create an energy barrier to the negative voices – whilst i was in hospital with Bipolar – and a lot of psychosis = which I now feel was my picking up on all the energy within the hospital from present and past patients – I was totally overwhelmed with information all the time – i was talking in tongues to people – like messages coming through me and things like that – but I wasn’t really getting helped (now I know i didn’t need the help the could give me anyway) – so I spoke with a lady I know to be a medium and asked her help – she said visualise a bubble of white light – this is positive spiritual energy – the stiff of healing etc – and see it all around you – and keep doing this as often as you like/can/need to – to create a positive energy boundary so the negative entities g=don’t get to come in… good luck 🙂 xxxx

  2. manyofus1980 April 20, 2015 at 12:37 AM #

    Glad your feeling better. It sounds like you had a nice, relaxing weekend. I’m glad. X

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