12 Apr

Wednesday I saw my case manager and was talking about the urges to cut people out of my life. I probably mentioned cutting class a few times too. She said to me, you know if it has the word “cut” in it its not good for you. I also call cutting people out of my life “shutting down” and I do it to various degrees when stressed.

I use to identify as a “cutter” and would use the word cut. I now on my blog try to refer to it as self harm because it sounds less triggering. Most of my cutting I actually did with scissors too, and in some weird way I thought that was funny. I was never proud of my cuts and always hid them but I knew it was a part of me. I never thought I’d be able to give that up.

Part of me gets scared. Self harm was always the middle step between suicide and I felt safer when it was an option. But I’m better now. I have better coping skills. I’m not as suicidal as I use to be, though I’m sure I still think of it way more than the average person.

I’m rambling. Good night!

3 Responses to ““Cut””

  1. prideinmadness April 13, 2015 at 5:03 AM #

    I think about suicide a lot too.

    I’m glad you have more coping skills now. You serve as a great example for me 🙂 I’m not cutting a lot but I don’t know how to erase it from my toolbox

  2. manyofus1980 April 13, 2015 at 5:39 AM #

    I’m glad your doing better now. Your right about self harm being a middle ground. I see it like that too. XX

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