Getting to know me better Part 2

31 Mar
  • What was your favorite subject in school?

Math because there is always an explainable answer.  Later on in college I like philosophy and psychology classes that help offer explanations to questions that have no true answers.

  • How have your priorities changed over time?

They’ve actually stayed pretty much the same.

  • Who’s had the biggest influence on you?

My sister probably, because she’s always been there for me or at least tried.

  • Have you ever helped a complete stranger? How?

Yes, I give money to homeless people a lot.  When I’m in the hospital I comfort and explain things to the newbies. 

  • What’s your earliest childhood memory?

Trying to suffocate myself with a pillow after a family argument.  Around age 10. 

  • What nightmare woke you up in a panic?

I had one the other day where none of my friends liked me and then they convinced my best friend not to be friends with me anymore.  The whole thing was about me being too much drama.

  • What memorable lesson did you learn from your parents?

I can’t rely on them.

  • If you could travel back in time, what year would you visit?

I don’t know because I don’t really have a good memory and have been dealing with mental illness so long, I don’t think there was a specific year that was good.

  • If you could spend an hour doing anything, what would it be?

Smashing.  Like Scrapbooking but less organized.

smah depression 2 smash depression 1

  • If you could visit with any person in history, who would it be?

Myself.

  • If you could go anywhere for dinner tomorrow, where would you go?

Probably one of my usual places, plus I’m trying to be healthy so Brick House which is an Italian restaurant in town.

  • If you could turn into any animal, which one would you be?

Turtle so I could hide in my shell. Or a penguin because I think they are cool.

  • If you could write a bestselling book, what would it be about?

Autobio/Self help.  I’m working on it.

  • If you were a painter, what picture would you paint first?

Landscapes

  • What does success mean to you?

Getting through the day the best I can.  But I’m also a perfectionist so I rarely feel successful no matter how I do.  Success is different to everyone and their circumstances. But I think an overall message of perseverance and keeping your integrity. 

  • Why are some people cruel and unkind?

They’ve been hurt.

  • What does it mean when two people have chemistry?

They click together and seem to understand each other better and easier than the general population. They have to at least like each other. 

  • What do you think is the most significant event in the history of the human race?

The Renaissance period. 

  • What is the meaning of life?

I’m not really sure. I think each person serves a purpose no matter how big or how small and it ebbs out as humans interact with each other and impact each other.  Maybe one of the greatest minds you know of wouldn’t have done great things if he/she weren’t inspired by someone else. The biggest contributors I think sometimes go unseen. 

  • What’s one thing you know for sure?

Death and taxes. Just kidding. That I’ll struggle with mental health issues all my life. 

  • What scares you the most about the future?

Everything. I have extreme anxiety about the future. One of the biggest fear for the future is being another suicide statistic. 

  • What would make you totally content right now?

I’m not sure. 

  • What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

continue

  • What lesson has failure taught you?

We all define failure differently but most are quick to say they have failed something. 

  • How do you deal with doubt?

I don’t. That’s one of my biggest problems, without a good memory and add trust and paranoia issues and low self esteem.  I’m doubting myself frequently and don’t rely on many people to validate what I’m saying. 

  • When was the last time you cried? 

Last night. I cry at night a lot. 

  • What stresses you out?

My family, myself, school right now, trying to structure and plan my life around my mental illnesses. 

  • What was the greatest day of your life?

Not sure again. 

  • Why do you think there are so many religions in the world?

People can’t agree. They want to stand out and be different but they also want community. People are looking for purpose and meaning. 

  • What is your definition of a miracle?

When something big happens that you didn’t expect. I think miracles can be good or bad. Though most use the term for positive events only. 

  • When do you pray? How often? What motivates you to pray?

I wouldn’t say that I pray on any specific matter with continuity. But I talk to spirits, or God or a higher. And sometimes I just wish for good luck or think good thoughts because some people don’t like the idea of someone praying for them. I do it whenever I feel like I should or if someone asks me or just the general population. 

  • When do you feel most alone?

When I’m surrounded by people and I feel left out or like I don’t belong. And crying in bed by myself. 

  • Do you believe the human soul is eternal?

Sort of. I believe a persons impact never dies.  

  • What’s something about you that no one knows?

I’ll leave that up to mystery. But there are things no one knows or only one or two people in my life have ever known. There’s trust issues and shame. 

  • What fills up your heart to bursting level?

When someone I like does something thoughtful for me.  Or I get compliments or praise from people I like.

I'l love to hear your thoughts

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