Is this disordered eating?

28 Feb

So it’s eating disorders awareness week and I’ve always been one to say that I don’t have an eating disorder.  I get really frustrated when people have mild symptoms or only some symptoms of one of my primary diagnosis and say they have it.  I follow some bloggers who have eating disorders and I feel it would be offensive and kind of lessening what an eating disorder can do to you.  I do have eating issues and weight issues, no doubt.  But I don’t consider them to be disruptive enough to have an eating disorder.  So I wanted some feedback from my fellow bloggers on how unusual some of my eating habits are and what you think.

  • I usually eat out.
  • When I eat out I usually go to 1 of 9 places.
  • Sometimes I will go to the same place for lunch and dinner and eat the same thing if someone won’t go out to eat to one of the other 8 places I like.
  • For the most part I order exactly the same thing every time I go to one of these places.
  • I don’t like my food mixing.  Pasta usually comes with something in it and the first thing I do is separate all the ingredients, ie. chicken over here, broccoli over here, noodles over here.
  • I also don’t like my foods touching each other and will often place them on separate plates, on the table, or divided into piles where they don’t touch each other.  (This is kinda like the last one)
  • I won’t eat things with a certain texture: i.e. cottage cheese, yogurt (this may be more to do with my sensory issues)
  • I comfort eat a lot, but usually only a select things make me “feel better.”  I don’t think it’s the eating in itself that makes me feel better.
  • I withhold from eating food or food with too many calories if I am feeling fat.  I’ll skip meals, drink energy drinks so I’m not as hungry, or eat things I normally wouldn’t that are less calories.
  • I get dysphoria that comes and go about my weight it can get really intense but usually doesn’t last more than a few hours.
  • I use to throw up a lot when I couldn’t self harm, I think I was throwing up to make me feel bad or punish myself but I don’t really remember and I don’t do it anymore.

I have Ulcerative Colitis and when I was young I couldn’t keep weight on because of it.  I was pretty much allowed to eat whenever and whatever I wanted.  I wasn’t a picky eater according to my parents.  I was unusually thin even through high school, although my colitis was under control.  I didn’t gain weight until I started on anti-psychotics in me early 20’s, and at that point I would go up and down sizes so quick my mom started making boxes with size 4-14, so I didn’t keep need to buy new clothes.  I’ve been steadily overweight since around 25.  Maybe that history helps.

Feedback please.  I know your’all not doctors and everything, I just want peoples opinions.

7 Responses to “Is this disordered eating?”

  1. prideinmadness February 28, 2015 at 8:45 AM #

    I couldn’t say. You’d have to talk to a doctor. Some of your points I can relate to and I think some are fine. I tend to order the same few items off of a menu and I don’t like my food mixing either unless it came that way.

    • mm172001 February 28, 2015 at 8:48 AM #

      I unmix my food even if it came together. My thoughts are that really I have bigger problems than this. But I was just wondering what other people thought. It’s nice to know you can relate to some. Some family members think ti’s weird that I eat the same food again and again. I say as the saying goes “Why jump off a winning horse.”

      • prideinmadness March 1, 2015 at 7:43 AM #

        Have you mentioned any of it to your doctor? Even bits?

        • mm172001 March 1, 2015 at 7:46 AM #

          Not really. My case manager knew I use to throw up. In the US all the psychiatrist is there for is like 15 min appoints on medication. If I did bring it up with anyone it would be my case manager or the therapisy

  2. manyofus1980 March 1, 2015 at 4:13 PM #

    I really think a visit to your doctor is in order Marcie. Or at least talk to your cm about it. It does sound like there is some disordered eating patterns there! I relate to some of what you wrote. Comfort eating, eating certain textures or not eating them, etc. XX

    • mm172001 March 1, 2015 at 5:04 PM #

      Thanks for you opinion. It just seemed always before there were bigger problems to address.

I'l love to hear your thoughts

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