Why don’t I care?

29 Jan

I’ve been struggling to take my medication as prescribed lately because of issues with ordering and the strike I keep talking about.  I have my Maprotline now and my Viibryd, but I ran out of Prazosin a couple days ago and will run out of Lamictal for tomorrow’s pm dose.  I keep figuring it will come in the mail (the last two medications were mail ordered.)  20 something’s friend asked couldn’t I just go to the pharmacy and get a limmited supply till the mailed ones come in.  My answer is I just don’t care.  While I am generally med compliant, I have only went off my meds once.  While on antipsychotics I would sometimes purposely skip doses to see if i was really psychotic or if this was ll in my head.  I’m leaving for LA and Disneyland tomorrow around 1pm and I don’t think the mail will have come by then.  I guess it would be good self care to go to the pharmacy and get this taken care of.  Thing is I lack assertiveness skills and have an appointment with my case manager tomorrow at 11:30, we’re planning on leaving for LA right after.  Maybe I’ll put my dad on this.

4 Responses to “Why don’t I care?”

  1. Fumbling Through Therapy January 29, 2015 at 10:42 PM #

    I know how hard it can be to do tasks like this, but it is so so important that you have all the doses of your meds before you leave. Whether it’s working or not is a convo to have with your treatment providers when you get back. It’s not worth inducing a relapse or worse. I support you and strongly encourage you to take a deep breath and find the strength to get this taken care of.

    • mm172001 February 1, 2015 at 10:06 PM #

      I got my most important med. I use to not take them as a test to see if I really needed them. Now I know I do and they work, it just doesn’t seem worth the effort to get then when I need them. I think part of it is that I’ve been taught my needs don’t matter and not to care for myself.

  2. manyofus1980 January 30, 2015 at 2:35 AM #

    Its hard to comply. I hear you. I hope your dad can sort it. Have fun in Disney. I know you will though. XX

    • mm172001 February 1, 2015 at 10:07 PM #

      He sorted it out. Disney was fun while it lasted but I won’t go back with my sister now for awhile maybe forever. See tonight’s post for more of an explain action.

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