Making everyone else’s agenda my agenda

25 Jan

Tonight I realized how often I alter my expectations and okay-ness with something based on someone else.  While ideally I would like to be on as little psych meds as possible I feel like I have to have the same goals as my psychiatrist. I had altered what I wanted based on what I thought he was going to do. I was willing to accept it, even though I was doing great on the new meds, just because I didn’t want to make waves and I thought that’s what he’d do anyways. I think I learned this pattern in childhood.

6 Responses to “Making everyone else’s agenda my agenda”

  1. myskinblues January 26, 2015 at 12:52 AM #

    Same patterns here too. It’s frustrating, to say the least.

    • mm172001 January 28, 2015 at 6:48 PM #

      I guess it’s more common then I thought by my comments from other bloggers

  2. borderlinefunctional January 27, 2015 at 5:21 AM #

    I’ve also noticed this tendency in myself before. While I like to think of myself as independent and self determining, I know I tend to people please or take other people’s opinions as more worthy than my own. I completely agree it seems to come from invalidation and our childhood experience which tells us that our opinions are wrong or somehow less worthy than those of others.
    Aimee xx

    • mm172001 January 28, 2015 at 6:47 PM #

      I just sort of realized it the other day. I think if I make my agenda their agenda there will be less fighting and I will please them.

  3. manyofus1980 January 27, 2015 at 11:40 AM #

    I agree its definitely a patter from childhood! I do this too. Its hard to break it. All we can do is keep on trying to do things with our own agenda in mind. XX

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