What a relationship feels like when you’re borderline

27 Dec

I use to avoid relationships because I couldn’t stand the intense emotions and emotional upheaval that come with them. There is also the constant fears of judgement, abandonment, and that they don’t even like me. I also experience intense emotions out of proportion to the event. This goes both ways with warm fuzzy feelings but also with the darker emotions like disappointment and jealousy. I’m a lot better at controlling my behavior that the urges suggest; but I still feel it on such an unbelievable level. Crying over little things. Ecstatic about a text. Support like you’ve never had. Trying not to be clingy or that person that constantly needs reassurance, when those two things are in my very nature.

You can tell me when it’s over
If the high was worth the pain.

9 Responses to “What a relationship feels like when you’re borderline”

  1. jennaash317 December 28, 2014 at 8:28 AM #

    Reblogged this on jennaash317.

  2. emilyramos December 28, 2014 at 9:05 AM #

    Me too, hun.

  3. prideinmadness December 28, 2014 at 6:59 PM #

    I always had someone waiting in the wings. That cushioned the blow I think.

    • mm172001 December 30, 2014 at 11:29 PM #

      Yeah I don’t

      • prideinmadness December 31, 2014 at 6:12 AM #

        I often wondered what alone would feel like because I had a feeling that was what I’d need but what is usually listed as the first BPD symptom? Oh yes, frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment 😛 I guess we can go to both extremes, avoidance and immersion (if that is the right word to use).

        • mm172001 December 31, 2014 at 9:21 AM #

          Very good point, we are the experts of extremes after all.

  4. manyofus1980 December 30, 2014 at 5:02 AM #

    Relationships are intense even when your not borderline. I think though for someone who is it is much harder. XX

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