16 Dec

Today has been sort of blah.  Like a light grey cloud of depression suspiciously following me around, but not pouring rain on my head.  I woke up a lot like yesterday, same mindset, same mood.  My mind has been going crazy lately with anxiety about friendships and my fears of abandonment.  Today I took a little step against it by writing a message and while it didn’t resolve anything at least I’m not trying to hide it and pretend everything is okay.  I’ve done a lot of that in my life already.  I’ve eaten terribly today lots of junk and sugar but I’m trying to justify it by my mood.  My intensive case manager called today and I didn’t answer or call her back.  It’s all the same questions, and while I do feel safe I don’t feel good.

5 Responses to “12/16/14”

  1. Cat December 17, 2014 at 10:48 AM #

    In MBT therapy, we are encouraged to recognise our feelings and it sounds like you’re doing that. In some sort of weird way, that sounds right. It doesn’t stop the feelings, but maybe it helps us keep on top of them, particularly those horrid abandonment issues… they are a real killer. Stay strong, Marci!

    • mm172001 December 17, 2014 at 9:38 PM #

      Yeah I find if I can write it out it’s takes a little power away from it; even if it’s only a teeny bit of power.

      • Cat December 17, 2014 at 10:31 PM #

        I know what you mean

  2. manyofus1980 December 17, 2014 at 6:34 PM #

    Well done on taking a step and writing the message. Especially since you didn’t know what would happen! Be proud! XX

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