Different Priorities

16 Nov

I’m a different kind of person so I guess it would make sense that I have different kind of priorities.  I feel like an outsider so much.  All I really want is for someone to care about me.  I guess that’s what everyone wants it just shows up in different forms for different people.  So what does it mean to me?  I mean it’s different for each person and relationship.  I feel like right now I have three people who care for me in the closest way that I want and I care about them and my relationship with each is different.  I’ve always been the giver and that is just my personality- it’s hard with my case manager because it is suppose to be a professional client-patient relationship.  So with that all I can give is my honesty and being myself which she seems to like.  She listens to me and I know I’m important because she always calls or messages me back quickly and of course she has said it.  People saying I am important to them doesn’t mean I take it, usually it doesn’t mean much to me because the way they show they care isn’t enough or isn’t the way I want it.  With my sister, she’s been through all the ups and downs of my life- she tries to be there as much as she can and she always seems to try and cheer me on.  I mostly make my sister things to show I care or try to surprise her with little things I know she likes.  The third person is 20 something’s friend and I just feel a connection with him that I haven’t felt with anyone else for a long time.  I think it’s probably one of the few real friendships I’ve had where people know most of the extent of my issues.  I sometimes don’t know what to do to show I care because I don’t want to come on too strong or extreme.  So when I think of things, I really try to think it through.

One Response to “Different Priorities”

  1. manyofus1980 December 12, 2014 at 6:07 PM #

    This makes sense to me Marcie. Words mean little sometimes. I get that. I’m glad there are people in your life who you care about and who care for you too. We all need those sorts of people rooting for us. XX

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