Boom crash

10 Nov

Life shouldn’t be this way. I wake up and have to make a decision to fight through another day, and it’s gonna be a fight… You can just tell. I roll over and assess the day, what I have to do, who I’ll see. It’s a school holiday so no obligation of class tonight, and why that may seem like a good thing it isn’t for me. School keeps me sane, my case manager said once if it weren’t for school if probably be institutionalized. I think I remember talking about doing family birthday dinner tonight, but no one has followed up…. Big surprise. It’d be something to do but then why again do I have to do everything…? I’ll text my brother-in-law and see if we can agree on anything we’ll be celebrating together. Extra work but it’s that or lay in bed all day. I have an appointment with my case manager and normally I’d be happy about that, but like I said already it’s going to be one of those days.  I had to make a decision to get out of bed and take my Meds and I’ll continue throughout the day as I’m  forced to make more decisions to fight the day, or just give up.  Having one of those “fat days” where you literally feel all the fat on you and are super conscious of it. My moms comment last night, the fact my clothes aren’t really fitting anymore, and my upcoming period aren’t helping. I wonder if it’s the Meds or just my lack of activity combined with eating habits. The fat thing will just make today harder because I can’t just fight through by eating ice cream. Typing these words is making a decision, I don’t know if I can keep it up all day. It’s only 9:30am and I want to give up.

3 Responses to “Boom crash”

  1. Vin November 11, 2014 at 5:08 AM #

    You can do it! I know it’s difficult some days but just keep swimming!

  2. manyofus1980 December 12, 2014 at 1:49 PM #

    I know I am late replying to this one but you did it you fought and got through so proud of you hon! XXX

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