In an effort to find the response to those participating in the 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge easier to find, I am posting and updating this page to include the links to each day’s results/round up.
I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses. My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts. I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC. If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt. I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word. You can also start at anytime. I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness. Here is the image to go with the challenge:
Really bored right now. I suppose I could be doing my homework. I’ve gotten some stuff done today. This week is just thrown off with the holiday. Plus last week I was so busy. And busy is good. Too much time to think and the loneliness sets in when I have nothing to do. Just put some music on and maybe I’ll do something I just don’t want to bug anyone and today has been all solo activities already.
All the things I could think of doing besides laying in bed and getting all worked up won’t work. Gaining too much weight to just eat ice cream. Can’t scrapbook for people when I have mixed feelings. It’s only 7pm, I’d have to take Valium cuz I’ve been sleeping most the day. Lil sis is in front room and she’s been I irritating me all day. But I can’t stay in here with my mind going crazy.
Thanksgiving is over. The plans changed a couple times even this morning. My grandpa and uncle cancelled last night but ended up coming today. So we had to take a family photo. With all the family around I was really feeling like I couldn’t do anything right and being bitched at. I’m thinking about scrapbooking since I’m bored and laying in bed probably isn’t good.
WordPress Daily Prompt 11/27/14: Is there a person you should’ve thanked, but never had the chance? Is there someone who helped you along the way without even realizing it? Here’s your chance to express your belated gratitude.
I used to be really bad at expressing gratitude, I thought it gave people power over me. I’m trying to get better with this and this year I made the three most important to me Thanksgiving cards, two I mailed one I had to give to in person.
In response to my last post. Now that it’s day time and I have a little better thinking as someone I care about agreed and I know what I’d say to him and it’s similar. I have a lot of “lost years.” Time where I didn’t accomplish anything or make any headway on goals. For me it was about survival or just plain apathy because I never thought I’d live this long anyways. When you can’t see a future, how do you plan for it? Or have motivation to make progress towards goals. In the last couple years I’ve been moving forward but I have so much to catch up on. If you add up the lost years and little chunks. I’m probably about 8 years old. I’d never expect this from an eight year old
I’m feeling better mostly and it’s been a month. Now I feel like I’m not accomplishing enough. Part of me says relax and try to enjoy the good time but the other part knows this doesn’t last and I should be working hard on stuff. I just want a break sometimes. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable. I’ve gotten a break from the depression and a somewhat break from my anxieties and thoughts. But again, and at night again, my thoughts are swirling. I’m upset about gaining weight but not upset enough to do anything constructive about it, the only response I’m considering is stopping the Meds which I know would be stupid. I’m getting all on myself about my lack of dating skills, my ineptitude and resigned attitude towards the whole thing. Today one of dads friends asked what was new and then what was new with my sisters. Nothing’s new really and my stuff sounds pathetic compared to theirs. Both have reached developmental milestones before I have and I don’t know if I ever even will. I’m just so displeased with myself right now. I need someone to tell me all the good I’m doing and progress in making. Thing is it’s midnight and I’d be too afraid to ask anyways.
On Saturday I went to a Transgender Remembrance Ceremony at a local church. It was my first one and I didn’t really know what to expect. What I noticed from reading the names are that transgender women are more likely to be victims and a lot of the victims were in Brazil.
I’ve been doing pretty well not focusing on the future and trying to be in the here and now but right now I can’t get thoughts out of my head. 20 something’s friend is planning on moving by spring of 2016 if he gets all his classes. I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it because I get incredibly anxious, insecure, and go into a near panic attack. Of course my first instinct is to move too, follow him. And then my second is just to detach so when he leaves it won’t be so hard. Of course both I think make me look like a crazy person. Writing helps calm me a little.
October will be a trying month for you as usual. Use your resilience and stubbornness to get through this trying time. Change is coming that will leave you confused, but roll with it- it will be a positive change in the end. Your melancholic mood is coming to an end, enjoy the respite.
WordPress Daily Prompt 11/20/14: What’s your idea of a perfect day off: one during which you can quietly relax, doing nothing, or one with one fun activity lined up after the other? Tell us how you’d spend your time.
My idea of a perfect day is one in which I have fun activities lined up with sometime for relaxing or resting in between. I feel like so much of my time is spent with nothing to do or bored and that is why I like activities. Also I really like structure so planned things help me relax even if it’s just loose plans. Some of the fun activities I like to do are just about anything with friends, miniature golf, bowling, laser tag, eating out at restaurants, trying new things (but not overloaded with them), movies or drive ins, scrapbooking or doing crafts, and just chatting.