30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge- Master List

24 Sep

I decided to start this challenge first of all to help my readers learn more things specifically related to my mental illnesses.  My fellow bloggers are welcome to participate in any or all of the challenge prompts.  I will do a post within about 3 days of the prompt and my response to link to people who participate, please pingback/link to this post or tag 30MIAC.  If you chose to do the prompts later, don’t find the challenge till later, or life happens and you don’t get a prompt answered within the 3 days no worries, if you pingback to this post I will add you to the post that has the links to that prompt.  I will be starting to post my responses to the prompts in October, I am just posting this now so people can brainstorm and spread the word.  You can also start at anytime.  I hope this will raise some awareness and give you insight to mental illness.  Here is the image to go with the challenge:

MIA challenge

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Why I’m “Out” as a Person with Mental Illness

30 May

mm172001:

I just came “out” with my mental illness with my LGBT group. I’m not sure how it was received and my anxiety and low self esteem tell me it was pointless. But I have came out to other LGBT friends and people often ask me for advice or tell me their stories. That’s something, that’s helping.

Originally posted on Let's Queer Things Up!:

This piece was originally published at The Body Is Not An Apology.

The image features the author, SDF, smilling at the camera. He is an androgynous white person wearing large, round glasses and a striped t-shirt.Out and proud!

Far and away, the most frequently asked question I receive as a writer with bipolar and anxiety is, “How did you get to a place where you could be this open about your struggles?”

It’s usually followed with a question like, “Aren’t you scared?”

I used to be terrified. Like many folks with a mental illness, one of the first things we’re told is to keep it to ourselves. At times, I existed in a cloud of shame that followed me around wherever I went.

But that’s just it – that’s exactly why I came out and became such a vocal advocate for my community. It’s because of that shame that I started talking about what I had been through. I was tired of feeling afraid, tired of feeling ashamed, and tired of seeing…

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Today’s been a meh day

29 May

I’ve spent most of the day sleeping.  I’m not exhausted from camping anymore, just bored with nothing really to do.  I lead our 20 something’s group last night on mental health wellness.  I think I might have talked too much but everyone said the group was good.  I couldn’t sleep last night and my stomach hurt so I took one Valium.  That means I only have one left before Sunday.  I think I’m going to save it for Saturday night because someone from group is having a birthday celebration but it’s at a bar.  I don’t drink and have realized just lately that I feel very uncomfortable there, so I’m planning on not going.  It just sucks because other people are going to be there.  20 something’s friend starts summer school in two weeks, I’m kinda wondering how I will do without the extra support and friend to do things with.  Especially since we’re working on harder things in counseling now.  I do know I’ll be gone about 2 weeks of it, with family, SF Pride, and NAMI national conference.  My thoughts haven’t been bothering me much today, but then again I’ve slept most of the day.  My appointment with my psychiatrist went well yesterday, and I do not have to make a return appointment until 6 months, I think that’s the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my psychiatrist.

My treatment team thinks I am getting better.  My family is either neutral or thinks I’m doing worse.  And I just feel stuck in the middle, sometimes I feel like I’m doing really well and other times I struggle and it seems like it’s always been.  I wish I could just hold on to some of the great stuff people tell me, when I’m having my struggles.  I wish my family was more supportive about the medication I’m on; at least they aren’t verbalizing it to me all the time.

I feel a breakdown coming soon, not sure if I will need hospitalization but to me hospitalization means I’m not doing good or going backwards.  One of the reasons I dropped my summer school class was this fear of impending hospitalization.

Just found out one of the facilitators from group will not be here for like a month at least, I’m wondering how that will change the group dynamic or if it will.

Anyways, bored and probably going back to sleep.

Recovery

28 May

mm172001:

I like the pictures, they describe things oh so well.

Originally posted on Life in a Bind - BPD and me:

Recovery diagram SANE

I absolutely love this picture, which was shared through Facebook today via the mental health charity SANE. I wish I could credit the picture, but although it pops up in a miriad places on the internet when you google it, I cannot find an attribution anywhere!

I’m not sure my expectations of recovery ever had such a steep and rosy gradient, but my own reality of recovery is definitely as messy as that illustrated here. In fact I would go as far as to say that in terms of how it feels (even if that does not reflect what is actually happening) it is more like this:

recovery life in a bind

The scary cliff-edge at the end represents the fact that it is pretty much impossible for me at the moment to visualise a future in which recovery has actually happened. Alternatively, think of this picture as the random walk of therapy, with…

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28 May

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Happy and relieved

26 May

I feel happy and very relieved that I have a couple people in my life who know my deepest darkest secrets and still like me. Gives me hope that I might be an okay person. 

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26 May

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26 May

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Facebook Page for Blog

26 May

Ive mentioned before I have a Facebook page for my blog. It use to be connected to my personal FB ex-girlfriend found it, that’s how/why we broke up. It was sad deleting it, I had like 70 people who had “liked” the page. Along with even some real nice posts to page by other bloggers. If you’re on Facebook check it out. 
The content is part of what I post here and other things like memes, photos, videos, and links to other articles or blogs I really like. There are also status updates of how I’m doing, where I’d think it would be pointless to write a 2 sentence blog.   It’s also the best way to privately contact me, since I don’t give my personal e-mail out much. I’ve made some friends I Facebook messenger with. 
Have I convinced you yet?  The link to it is on the side bar. Comment if you have trouble and I can totally send you the link. 

Dreams: Too funny

26 May

So last night around the campfire we were talking about PK (my first love from high school). It’s been about 10 years and I can finally say I’m over here and moving on from the trauma it created in my life.   Anyways, I was talking about how I knew I was over her was when I had a dream and she was telling me she loved me and I was not interested anymore. Tonight I had another dream with her in it, the first since the last one when I realized I was over it. It was a funny dream and I actually woke up laughing. I was trying to track her down and finally get some closure. Of course it was at a religious event. High school friend was in it along with a mutual friend of me and high school friend they were the ones trying to help me track her down, only to run off part way through the adventure. In the dream I got closure, I wonder if that’s enough for real life?

Today went better, hope I didn’t make a mistake

25 May

So today was better, more anxiety though.  I got to talking after dinner. There was different people involved than usual and hopefully I didn’t share much. I think I’m okay but that doesn’t stop my anxiety. 

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